Interrogation Techniques Revealed!

The CIA's list of interrogation techniques was leaked to the papers:

"The techniques sought by the CIA are: induced hypothermia; forcing suspects to stand for prolonged periods; sleep deprivation; a technique called "the attention grab" where a suspect's shirt is forcefully seized; the "attention slap" or open hand slapping that hurts but does not lead to physical damage; the "belly slap"; and sound and light manipulation."

...and?

I mean, seriously, my kids subject me to 6 of the 7 on a semi-daily basis. They have never, however, induced hypothermia. They're more likely to make you sweat to death. On top of those other 6 techniques, they do other fun things. I think we'd get a lot more information out of the terrorists if we made them nurse a teething baby. We could hold a tube of lanolin just out of reach!

(Nursing is going pretty well, but she gets a little too, uh, enthusiastic. Like her brother was...)