Franklin's Virtues

Persuasion

2009-08-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

I was just commenting on a post about the recent uproars in townhalls across the country. In general, I cheer on my fellow citizens in going directly to their representatives and asking questions and demanding to be properly represented. However, I am dismayed to see how often it turns into a shouting match. I know people are upset. I know they have a lot to be angry about. But once you give in to those feelings, and you harrangue your debate partner, you have already lost. They will not listen. You are not presenting yourself well.

While it feels good in the short term, and you feel you have won the battle, you may be sacrificing the war for your own momentary personal feelings of glee. Show some self-discipline!

One of the greatest persuaders ever was my buddy, Benjamin Franklin. He studied and practiced long, long hours to hone his skill. He writes about some of it in his Autobiography:

From The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin by Benjamin Franklin

While I was intent on improving my language I met with an English grammar (I think it was Greenwood's) having at the end of it two little sketches on the arts of rhetoric and logic, the latter finishing with a dispute in the Socratic method; and soon after I procured Xenophon's Memorable Things of Socrates, wherein there are many examples of the same method. I was charmed with it, adopted it, dropped my abrupt contradictions and positive argumentation, and put on the humble inquirer. And being then, from reading Shaftesbury and Collins, made a doubter, as I already was in many points of our religious doctrines, I found this method the safest for myself and very embarrassing to those against whom I used it; therefore I took delight in it, practiced it continually, and grew very artful and expert in drawing people even of superior knowledge into concessions the consequence of which they did not foresee, entangling them in difficulties out of which they could not extricate themselves, and so obtaining victories that neither myself nor my cause always deserved.

I continued this method some few years, but gradually left it, retaining only the habit of expressing myself in terms of modest diffidence, never using, when I advanced anything that may possibly be disputed, the words certainly, undoubtedly, or any others that give the air of positiveness to an opinion; but rather say, I conceive or apprehend a thing to be so and so; It appears to me, or I should not think it so or so, for such and such reasons; or, I imagine it to be so; or, It is so, if I am not mistaken. This habit, I believe, has been of great advantage to me when I have had occasion to inculcate my opinions and persuade men into measures that I have been from time to time engaged in promoting. And as the chief ends of conversation are to inform or to be informed, to please or to persuade, I wish well-meaning and sensible men would not lessen their power of doing good by a positive assuming manner that seldom fails to disgust, tends to create opposition, and to defeat most of those purposes for which speech was given to us. In fact, if you wish to instruct others, a positive dogmatical manner in advancing your sentiments may occasion opposition and prevent a candid attention. If you desire instruction and improvement from others, you should not at the same time express yourself fixed in your present opinions. Modest and sensible men, who do not love disputation, will leave you undisturbed in the possession of your errors. In adopting such a manner, you can seldom expect to please your hearers or obtain the concurrence you desire.

When was the last time you changed your mind because someone shouted a slogan at you? Or kept you from responding? When was the last time you thought to yourself, "Wow! You just humilitaed me and harranged me -- I think you're so right!"

It is very hard to remain jovial, curious and pleasant when you feel your fundamental rights are being trampled on and stimped into the dust. But you must keep your goal in mind and figure out the best way to get there. No one ever said it would be easy.

Climate Change Hysteria

2009-07-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

A very eloquent and accessible essay about Resisting Climate Hysteria, by Richard S. Lindzen, the Alfred P. Sloan Professor of Atmospheric Sciences at Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Health Care

2009-07-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

Yea, I'm against "Universal Health Care".

Why should there be one system? We don't have a system of food-delivery, yet that's arguably far more important than health care. Without food, you'd never live long enough to need a doctor. We have a variety of food stores to cater to what people want. If someone wants to spend a ton of money on caviar and organic whatever, we let them. If someone would rather live on rice and beans and ramen, and save money for something else, we're all too happy to let them have their choice.

Why should it be different for medical care?

One argument is that it will save money, or that we should trust those in Washington (particularly the President) to make a great new system. I don't understand that. Does that mean we should go and see if he likes Coke or Pepsi and then just get rid of the other one? He chose the best soda, why waste resources on the other one? We should find out what cheese he likes, and eliminate all others. If we only have one cola and one cheese, think of all the advertising those companies would save, and the price of cheese and soda would fall! Heck, we should find out his favorite grocery store, and make that the only one.

Well... except there's no competition... And too bad if you have different priorities and tastes than him. It doesn't matter. It's For The Children! (TM)

When does one size fits all ever fit anyone?

Voting By Shopping

2009-03-22T11:13:00.000-07:00

Lately, quite a few bloggers have been noting that "Atlas Shrugged" spent a few weeks on Amazon hovering around the #50 spot on the list of most popular books. (Once I saw it in the mid 30s).

I figure I should do my part in promoting some other books I always wanted to read, and maybe vote with my wallet a bit, so I just picked up Milton Friedman's "Freedom to Choose", and Hayek's "Road to Serfdom". I've read other things by both, watched Friedman's TV programs and such, but I feel I should also have them in print and maybe strew them about for the family. ;)

Probably will go on the same shelf as my copy of "Liberal Fascism"...

I've been interested in the home front of WWII ever since I did a report on it in school. I also, oddly, took Japanese, German, and Russian in school, so I studied a lot about it just in those classes. (Though, I have to admit, I stopped taking German after three years due to Nazi burnout. I just couldn't read another horrible story about it.)

The Scientist as Rebel

2008-10-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

One of the books I'm reading right now is The Scientist as Rebel by Freeman Dyson. For those of you who have never heard of him, he's a very interesting guy. He's a physicist and a mathmetician, and he talks a lot about political, economic, and social issues. Neat guy!

Anyway, I finally got around to reading it and I was so pleased to see the first two words of the preface: "Benajmin Franklin". Ah! My heart sang! And he really captures why Benjamin Franklin is one of my favorite people.

Anyway, jsut reading the preface lifted me and helped me realize that I need to stop doing things that I don't love. I don't mean I should not change poopy diapers or anything, but I realized I was doing things that I "thought I should do" that we not making my life any better.

One example is just that I have a mailing list I'm on. I originally joined it so that I could have pleasant conversation with people in the same field I'm in. The problem is that in the 8 years since then, a lot of us have changed jobs a bit. And, mostly, the list has just because a giant raging political argument. I admit that I fanned the flames from time to time, so I'm just as guilty. But as I was reading about Franklin, I realized I had diverged from where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be.

I remember reading about Franklin's ideas for discussing thins that people disagreed on. And he always stresses remaining calm, and non offensive, and always phrasing your points in a very soft way. You say "Well, I think, perhaps, that..." and whatever. You dont just come out and say, "You're wrong. I'm right" or anything of hte sort. And I have been doing that.

I know why I have. I have always lived in a little cocoon where I hide away my true self. I apparently have a huge fear of rejection -- not surprising after being ostracized in school. Always on the edge. But when I had my children, I changed. I think a lot of it was the hormones and the crankiness. I just didn't have hte time or patience to pretend I was a happy nice person who had a timid opinion. Partly it was the project I was on, where I had to fight a lot to keep us on task. And partly, it was all part of my journey to find myself again -- which eventually led to my decision to homeschool.

But I think I went too far. I kept swinging that metaphorical pendulum of my personality too far to being outspoken and confrontational. And after thinking about my buddy Ben, and reading about him through Dyson's eyes, I realized I want want to be that confrontational person.

So I dropped off the list. I need to do productive things that make me happy. Not argue with people I wish would be friends or aqiuaintances, just because I think that's what I'm supposed to want.

And now I need to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. And be a rebel.

I Apparently Don't Read My Own Comments

2008-10-24T10:34:00.001-07:00

Sorry to everyone who has commented, and had their lovely comments dissappear into the black hole void that my blog became. I'm hoping you'll understand! It's been a heck of a year of adjustment, from quitting my job, to taking my kids out of daycare, trying to figure out homeschooling, then getting another job part-time flex-time job. My husband is on boss number nine in just over two years of working at his company, and each boss is a rather major adjustment.

I guess I'm trying to say, I wish I had had time to answer your memes and comments -- I truely treasure having bloggers I read come to my little site! And now I'm trying to get right back into it. :)

Go Up, Young Man

2008-10-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was reading Instapundit this morning, and he was discussing bloggers who were thinking of moving if a different guy than they want wins the election. The update used the phrase "Don't go east, go up!". Glenn takes this to mean Canada... but I believe the other blogger meant space. And that's what I thought of too, before I read the linked blog. We need a new frontier to explore.

I'm the kind of people who likes to be on the cutting, but not bleeding, edge. I don't want to be the first one there, but if a very loose organization exists, I'll go charging in and help them out. I used to do it at work all the time -- I wasn't there to found a new team or new thing, usually, but once something promising got a toe hold, I was there in a heartbeat to help it go. It's just a more fun place for me to be. I wanted to move away from the places where people were getting into boring details and setting up permenant camp. And I think the same is true in real life. There are just people who want to settle down and trade in risk for security, and they don't really care how. And that's not really me. I want to live a bit on the edge, and be free.

Maybe we need a new frontier. Mars, for instance. Let the frontiersmen start a colony up there for people like me who don't want 30,000 new laws, but want to live, dare I say it, a bit more like cowboys. Sure, it sounds a little crazy, but I do think there are people who just thrive in a frontier and they don't really have one right now, and they bristle at the incoming shakles of a civilization they don't particularly want thrust on them.

I Ran Three Miles!

2008-02-26T10:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay, not all at once. And I guess I didn't run it all either. But last week I did manage to get on the treadmill three times, running at or over a mile each time. Well, walking, jogging and running, actually. Anyway, I love how I feel after exercise. The only problem is, when do you find time with kids around?

Luckily, last week my husband was taking an online class for work, and they let him take it from home. So he could keep a little eye on the kids during his lunch hour while I ran. It was nice.

How am I going to continue this though? Does anyone have an idea for how to get exercise in while the kids are around? I'm talking little kids -- 4 and 1. I can't have them near the treadmill without one of them trying to hurt themselves on it, and I can't have a relaxing run while the baby is shrieking in baby jail (her playpen. She hates it).

New Blog for Me

2008-02-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

I've decided to start a new blog, while keeping this one around just for my personal stuff. It's called Free Inquiry At Home. Please, feel free to visit!

I'm With Fred

2008-01-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

I've been loath to come out and talk about politics. It comes between people. It makes enemies out of friends. People take these things too personally, and get too upset about it, so I've been trying to tiptoe around it. Originally, I made this blog and this pseudonym in order to feel more free to discuss these things, but as I meet people online and this persona takes on a personality of it's own, I now find I don't want to alienate the people who have met me and have been friendly.

But I'm going to endorse a candidate for president. Not that I think anyone will care that much. I really don't think a lot of people read this blog. But if I can change one person's mind, that's wonderful! Or even get someone to take a second look at him.

I no longer can hide. I really should come out and say this under my real name, but I'm so scared of alienating people. But I need to speak my mind. I hate feeling like I'm hiding things, and I know it is my duty to participate in our democracy. It would be different if he were just another candidate. Just another lesser of two evils. But I genuinely like him. He's the candidate I've always wished for:

He speaks his mind
He is consistent for decades of speeches, votes and actions
He's logical
He understands the real constitution
The way he talks, he sounds as if he knew the founding fathers personally
He is a federalist
He is for small government
He does not play the media's game

And really that last point is why I really need to speak up. He needs more exposure, and through friendly channels -- not the media.

So go check out his website. He has his positions posted, clear and easy to understand. He isn't making promises he'll break, or trying to buy your votes. He feels he was called to do this, and he's willing to do this if we want him. But he won't pander. And I love that!

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

2007-10-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I'm guilty of it. I admit it -- the boy sleeps on the floor. Heck, he doesn't even use a mattress. Well, okay, he has a mattress. And even a box springs underneath. It sits, forlornly, in the corner of his room. Every night, he goes to sleep... on the floor. In a little nest of sheets and blankets.

Why do I let him do this? Well, frankly, I have no idea how to make him stop it. I'm just happy he does it in his own room. For months, after the baby was born, he would sneak into our bedroom in the middle of every single night and curl up (blankets or not!) on the floor in various weird places. Sometimes at the foot of the bed or next to my side, which meant I sometimes stepped on him on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Other times he would be curled up in the glider, or between the glider chair and it's little gliding ottoman.

So, I'm just happy he stays in his room all night in this new house, for the first time, ever. Yes, he's 4.5 years old. He's just not a very good sleeper. But in this happy new house, he can see right into our room from his, so I guess he feels safer. Still, if my husband is out of town, he still comes to my room at night. And as weird and paranoid as I get when my husband is gone, I let him. You know, so when the crazy axe murderers I can't help but imagine come bashing through the walls, at least all the kids are already with me. I don't have to round them up before we make our daring escape. (Yes, I'm serious. I'm really good at nightmares.)

Anyway, last night, for the first time ever, he slept in Big Boy Underwear! Until now he's always worn a diaper at night, even though he's trained just fine during the day. But last night, he was a Big Boy! Yay! Go him! I must admit I haven't been suggesting it to him at all. For one, he never listens to suggestions like that. In fact, he generally does his best to do the opposite. And second, since he lives in a nest of 27 blankets and toys and pillows and who knows what on the floor, I'm dreading the cleanup required if (when...) he has an accident.

Maybe I'll be lucky and he'll never have one. HAHAHAHHA... okay, yeah, right.

Under the Weather

2007-10-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

Actually, the weather is rather beautiful. But we appear to have come down with your standard October cold/sinus infection sort of thing. Nothing horrible, just unpleasant. Must drink many liquids and sleep and hope the baby sleeps. (Got about 3 hours last night, between the two kids and my own set of symptoms.)

I have no idea how I'm going to sew two costumes by Halloween, at this rate...!

Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever

2007-10-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

Is one of my son's favorite books. I must have read it hundreds and hundreds of times. He knows the words by heart -- if I read one wrong accidentally (or even more fun, on purpose!) he can instantly correct me. We've discussed every single bit of every illustration in it (and the other Busy Town books, too!).

There's a Flickr site which shows you how it's been changed since the older versions, complete with humorous notes.

I really hate that. I don't like it when they make books "PC", especially in such ridiculous ways. It's really annoying.

How do you feel about it? Do you know of any other books similarly "cleaned up"?

Why Ambiguous Lectures Hurt Students

2007-09-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

Today, D-Ed Reckoning has a very thorough post explaining why many kids are finding themselves behind: The root cause.

Teachers and education schools are spending more and more time encouraging other teachers to get more creative and write their own lesson plans, instead of using pre-made lesson plans and scripted curricula. But the truth is, teaching a group of students is very hard, and it's probably a rare person who can make perfect lessons in a short time or on the fly. It's very easy to see how a student could get confused, even learning very fundamental concepts such as "color" or "red". It's ten times harder to think of teaching something like reading.

Creativity has its place. Everyone wants to love their job and feel like they are doing something special. As a scientist, a technical writer, and a programmer, I've seen people who just go too far in trying to be creative. For example, I know it's a very common thing for technical writers to bristle at templates, style guides and writing rules, because it seems like it's taking away their creativity. They just want to fiddle with the font a few more times, or use a word a slightly different way, or just mix things up so their life is a little less scripted and predictable. But, while this fiddling may make them feel more productive, creative, smart, or useful, frequently it is a detriment to their product. If they change the template too much, it will look different from other writers' books. If they change the common convention, it can make it harder for new users to adapt. Just think about software or web sites you've used -- you can see how people have come up with new paradigms and metaphors for interacting with their design, but quite often users aren't looking for novelty when they are just trying to find what they are looking for or to efficiently complete their task.

Creativity is only good in small doses.

While homeschooling my son it is very easy for me to stop when he is confused and help correct him immediately, so incorrect ideas don't linger in his head for a long time. If he understands well, we can go rushing forward. If it takes him a month to figure something out, we can do that too! I believe in teaching to mastery. If you don't internalize what you are learning, you won't be able to build on it.

Last night we finished lesson two in "Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons". Some kids just figure out reading without any special instruction (my sister and I, for example), but I've decided to see if my son gets more confidence with this scripted direct instruction approach. I know that other males in my family have struggled with slow or non-fluid reading skills, despite being quite intelligent, and I wonder if a direct instruction approach like this would have helped. Or not. But if I see it isn't working, it's easy for me to change gears on the fly!

The Dry Socket Diet and Why I Love Clove Oil

2007-09-28T13:59:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd be tired of ice cream. But I am. I had my wisdom teeth out 8 days ago. I actually did the whole thing awake, which was a bit unpleasant, but I didn't want them to put me to sleep, because my daughter still nurses just about every night. Sure, I could have pumped for a day, but I threw away the breast pump when she turned a year old. I had, like most women, a love-hate relationship with that thing.

Anyway, I developed this charming thing called "dry socket" in one of my little tooth holes. Apparently, this happens about 5% of the time (boy am I good at developing those 5% side effects and complications!), and it means your tooth hole probably didn't clot right, and as a result you have an open wound with bit of bone and/or nerve hanging out. It really quite painful. I found myself whining and moaning every night, and actually had trouble sleeping. The pain really wasn't helped by OTC remedies such as Advil or Tylenol at all.

So, because of all this pain, I pretty much wasn't eating much at all. I ate broth and ice cream. Occasionally, I'd try swallowing noodles in soup or bits of mushed up baked potato, but the effort involved was painful and usually ended up getting little bits of food stuck in the poor holes in my mouth. Ice cream is probably the most pleasant thing to eat, since it's cold, but after polishing off two entire containers of ice cream, I'm tired of it! In fact, in the past week, I've lost 4-5 pounds. So, folks, if you want to lose weight, try my dry socket diet! Eat all the ice cream you want and still lose weight!

Thankfully, my husband took pity on me (or he simply got tired of my incessant whining) and he called the dentist two days ago. They said they could see me immidiately, and they packed my poor little socket with a dressing covered in clove oil. Now, this really felt horrible at first. They have to jam that little dressing in there, and it's really quite disgusting and painful (I don't even want to know what the "squishy sounds" I heard were). But within a few minutes it felt a little better, and by evening, I was actually smiling! I slept well that night and even had the patience to stay up with the baby, trying to get her to do anything but nurse, since I've been trying to wean her for three months now. (But when you have painful wisdom teeth, 87 million painful sinus infections, and all sorts of other craziness, it's hard to try really hard to wean anyone.)

Today, after I got my socket re-packed (didn't hurt at all!) I actually enjoyed the clove oil taste. I love cloves! So I stopped by the grocery store and picked up some nice soups that I can blend up with my beloved hand blender (no chunks!) and made sure to steer myself towards the ones that would go well with cloves (mmm... pumpkin bisque...).

Yay clove oil! You saved my mouth!

New Robots for Your Home!

2007-09-27T16:28:00.001-07:00

It looks like the folks at iRobot have been busy, and are releasing two new robots: one to clean your gutters and one to give you a virtual presence in your home.

Now, I love my Roomba. It is a quick and easy way to clean 80% of the dirt in on the floor. It doesn't get the corners perfectly, and sometimes it makes me crazy wandering around seemingly randomly. It often vacuums the same area 20 times, while a giant pile of dirt sits somewhere else. I should probably just learn to program it to run while I'm out. Anyway, it's an amazing thing to have when your have an older infant who can crawl and wants to eat any tiny little crumb of who-knows-what that someone left on the floor.

Anyway, the robots that cleans gutters sounds amazing! I want one already. Friends of mine say they love their Scoobas, but I don't have one of those. I'm not sure I really understand the point of the other robot. It sounds rather expensive -- I'd rather just use my cell phone to IM someone who is afar. Heck, we'll sit down and Google Chat, too. Both of those came in handy while my husband was away in Taiwan. But having a little robot following me around the house? It seems a bit much.

Would anyone want that one? What would you use it for? Any other Roomba-lovers out there?

Looking to the Past

2007-09-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

It's always fun to look back and see what you were up to in years past. I'm going to try to look back at past Septembers and see what I was up to.

One year ago, I finally came back here after having a baby.

Two years ago, I finally found an RSS reader. I abandoned Bloglines some time ago, and now use Google Reader.

Three years ago, I hadn't quite gotten up the courage to start a blog, despite having read them for years.

What were you doing last year?

Playing With the Template

2007-09-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

Expect this is change a bit if I have the time or inclination. I keep meaning to fix it up, and make it look like me. I just upgraded to the new Blogger templates, at the very least, to get the new functionality they've added.

Just don't be shocked if this place looks different a few times while I fiddle around.

Homeschool Park Days

2007-09-26T12:53:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in my post a month ago that we tried out a a homeschooling group's park day. It was a complete blast! My son had the best time finding new friends and playing medeival knight. I loved that there was finally a group of people who would understand when I told my son that his sword was at home "in the weapon box". Yes folks, he has a toy box just for weapons. Not something I can admit just about anywhere, since it's just not PC, apparently. But he loves drama, and he loves the struggle between good and evil. He loves to pretend to be a valiant, noble defender, and I think that's fantastic! So he teamed up with the other kids at the park toting swords and wearing tunics. ;)

I really love that the group is so multi-age. It felt like one big family reunion. It really just made me realize how incredibly unnatural it is to have kids segregated by age. Kids need older kids to look up to and help them grow. They need younger kids to make them feel big and to have someone to teach their skills to. It just made my heart sing to see these teenaged kids playing with the little ones, and just having a great time. It felt so much like home.

My littlest tiniest hope is that I will find a parent who is anything like me. Oddly enough, I'm not sure I will. I respect everyone's choices for schools, but the parents I talked with last week were mostly talking about the coop classes they sent their kids to, and one of the moms even made a comment about her son's medeival literature class and she wondered why on earth he liked it. It made me a bit sad. I really want a kindred spirit. Someone else who can't wait to share their love of science and math and history with their kids. Partly, I think most of the parents do work, either part time, full time on nights and weekends, or with their own business. Maybe they don't have time to teach their kids everything. Or they choose not to, I don't know. It's just too expensive out here.

I just want a friend who understands me. (Well, besides my husband. He rocks, and I adore him, but he can't be my only friend -- it's not fair to either of us!)

Delay Before Starting

2007-09-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

What a month! It's been pretty crazy here. So I'll try to do a quick update on my life.

The job interview actually went incredibly well. They ended up offering me a job. Luckily, I had plenty of time to think it over, because the recruiter and I kept missing each other and she was on vacation a few days. The offer was very flattering, and I almost accepted. But then I realized I would only be accepting it for selfish reasons. I liked the idea of building what they wanted built. And I liked the idea of the huge promotion and raise it would mean for me. But it would put us back to being a two-income family always stressed out with a messy house and who-knows-what for dinner. And I know I would never, ever, ever be happy that way. So I said no. I think I passed the first big test of my resolve.

We've spent the past month with my husband out of the country for two seperate weeks.

I got a huge sinus infection that left me pretty much useless and miserable. I decided to use the time I have now, finally, to take care of mysels a little bit and get my wisdom teeth pulled -- I suspect they might be partly behind my frequent sinus infections. I mean, they really had to go -- shortly after my 30th birthday, one of them partly erupted, but then got stuck. It was a happy little breeding ground for infection (and when it was removed, yes in fact, there was an infection going on). I was trying to wait until the baby was weaned, but she's proving to be at least as stubborn as my son, and with a sinus infection and no backup from my husband while he was out of the country, I just didn't have the energy to do it. So I had the teeth removed while I was awake (no sedation for me!). Ouch.

I've also developed a charming thing called "dry socket". Apparently the healing of one of the pulled teeth is going a bit wonky, and I have exposed, inflamed bone and nerves. It should delay healing and it hurts incredibly bad.

But! And here's the good news.

We finally informed the daycare we're pulling the kids -- they require 30 days notice, and this way, I'll have the chance to rest and finish healing up. Hopefuly, I can get the house in order, and plan plan plan!

I read "What Your Kindergartener Keeds To Know" -- I think it might be a nice place to start. I'm really interested in a reading-intensive program. My son loves being read to, and will only do workbooks (or even coloring books!) on the occasional once or twice a month that it strikes his fancy.

I've also (in my fun recovery time) read all of The Well Trained Mind. I think I'll be using a lot of their ideas. Once again, it's very reading based, and history based, which excites me. I want my son (and daughter!) to nderstand history, because most peopel today do not. I think it was the weakest part of my own education, and I constantly feel like my parents got a much better education in that sense than I did. They were classically trained, in catholic parochial schools. I'm not sure I'll stick with the schedule that the Wise's recommend though. I don't think I could wait until he's 9 to do physics experiments, and if he's anything like me, he's going to blow through some subjects (like math) much faster.

We already did one lesson from "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons". I'm not sure if it will work, but we'll see. I think this will help him simply because he is a perfectionist, and I think he doesn't try reading because he hates to be wrong. We made a sticker/stamp chart to fill in after each assignment. We'll see if this works. I'm hopeful, but honestly I give it maybe a 50% chance. If my son ends up not enjoying it, we'll put it aside for later.

I'm skipping the writing exercises in that book. I have a Kumon workbook for writing if he ever cares to try, but mostly I'm doing stealth teaching of his writing. He play hangman -- he makes up fake words by randomly filling in letters while I guess, then I have to pronounce whatever weird word he makes up. His letters are getting much better, and he's getting really good at drawing stick figures. ;) I have a lot of work that his daycare did to undo. They have them writing, but never taught them the correct way to write the letters, so he's always starting at the bottom and pushing up (for example). I'm hoping the Kumon book will help him learn the right order, when he's ready. Right now, that sort of "help" will just discourage him and make him feel bad, I think. He really does not like to feel wrong, and his daycare set him up to fail by not teaching him to write letters properly. I wish they'd just left it alone!

Other steps I'm taking include:
* Playing classical music from time to time. This house has the most amazing surround sound speakers connected to the sterio/CD player/receiver, placed around a room with a hardwood floor. The sound is just incredible!
* Playing games like Uno and chess. He can't get through a game of Chutes and Ladders, but he loves Uno and chess!
* Reading, reading, reading! He loves the Magic Treehosue books, which is hopefully getting him to begin to get used to different places and peroids of history. Next time I"m at the library, I'm going to look for good kids versions of myths. He loves drama!
* He is hopelessly obsessed with the TV, so I'm trying to record some things that might actually teach him something. I recorded a show called Modern Marvels this week, specifically the episode about knives, swords and axes. I think it was a hit. ;) He's always had a need for massive amounts of input, and what with me being sick, the husband out of town, and an asthmatic baby, well... I can't always provide all the input he needs. I don't think TVs are evil and I do believe in recreation that isn't always about learning.... but I do think he's gone overboard recently. I also put the old shows Voyagers in the Netflix queue. More history! ;)

In other news, I'm trying to find a way to make money. DH doesn't make enough alone to pay all the bills. I'm still on vacation at work until Friday (yes, I really had six weeks of vacation stored up... I wonder how I got so burnt out? ;D) and after that we have money saved up for a rainy day. But that won't last forever, so I'm going to try to make small business web pages and do freelance writing. I have *no* idea where I will find the time or energy for that, though!

It would help if my son was a decent sleeper. Or my daughter was. Or my husband was. Or I was. My daughter has allergies and asthma, and if I or she eat a tiny bit on onion, she has gas pains all night. So lately, we've been up with her. A lot. You wouldn't believe how impossible it is to avoid onions, unless you cook absolutely everything from scratch. Which I did do for a while, but ever since we moved (and I've been miserably in pain) it just hsan't happened. I still haven't even found all the boxes with kitchen pots and pans yet!

Anyway, sorry its been a month, but that's my update! 30 days to clean up, heal up, start a business, and get ready for a whole new life, with my kids by my side.

I Quit My Job

2007-08-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

So, for anyone still coming back here from time to time -- I finally quit my job. I couldn't take it anymore. My son hates preschool, I wasn't enjoying my job, and life was crazy.

I had an interview last week, but it isn't looking too promising.

But you know what? I think we're going to try homeschooling. We found a local park playgroup and met them yesterday. This morning, my son asked me to homeschool him. I've spent today researching and coming up with ideas and plans. The daycare requires 30 days written notice, so I have time to get my ducks in a row, and try to come up with a way to make money to afford this crazy rent.

I'm so excited, and so scared.

Weekly Weak Moments

2007-01-12T13:18:00.000-08:00

So, this has been a harder week. The first week of a diet is always so much easier. It's something new, you feel like you're taking control, and you can do it. Then the next week, reality sets in, and you realize you've eaten the same thing for 4 days in a row, because you know it works and you have it in the house... but you're already bored. Oops!

This week has been harder for a few reasons. My husband started classes again, so he's gone three evenings a week. That makes making dinner and eating dinner that much harder. Or planning snacks for the next day. Or relaxing, getting sleep, etc.. I feel more like I need to use food to reward myself. I've run out of some of the easier foods to eat, because we haven't been to the grocery store since last Saturday.

So far I'm keeping within points. I mean, heck, I get basically 15 points a day plus Core foods. But I'm not making great choices, and I've felt hungry and cranky due to having less food, less healthy food, less exercise, and just being overwhelmed.

The house is a mess... everything feels like it's a mess.

I'm currently going through FlyLady's BabySteps (again!) to rebuild my routines. I seem to have to do that often, but I think it happens a lot after stressful times and when my routine needs to change but I can't figure out how. For example, for a long time my evening routine was pretty well set, but with dh taking evening classes, it's pretty much shot. I have to re-arrange things, and I haven't made that work yet, so it's fallen apart, and consequently my mornings are crazier (because I'm still rushing around trying to find everyone's lunch and clothes) and I'm forgetting things for the kids (I swear, it was 50 degrees 3 days ago and the poor boy only had a light jacket and was wearing shorts!) and I'm lucky if I get a shower, so I just feel disgusting. That does not lend itself towards keeping the house clean, which means it harder to make meals, and really, everything just snowballs.

So, I'm trying to rebuild routines. One thing I just added was to give myself 15 minutes in the morning, even if it is once I get to work, to give myself a pep talk and arrange my day. I look over what needs to be done and make a list, plus I just tell myself I'm doing a good job and that I can get everything done. I hope it helps.

Maybe we can get our acts together so we can see friends again. Some recently asked if we wanted to get together (either here or there) and I just panicked. I really miss people, and I love seeing them, but I'm just scared of everything right now. Bleh.

Dance Dance Revolution Exercise Plan

2007-01-10T12:43:00.000-08:00

I mentioned how I intend to take advantage of our new PS2 and DDR to lose weight and got a comment (imagine that! I have commenters! Eek!) about it.

I actually got the idea from a few places. Okay, the first is that DDR actually has a game play mode called "workout". But I'd heard of it being used before that. A good friend of mine lost over 100 pounds a couple years back. She used weightwatchers, Curves, and (oddly enough) DDR. Since she's a video game player like myself, it worked out well for her. It provides entertainment while you exercise (nothing is more boring to me than, say, running!) and it helps drive you to keep going, even when you're tired. I'm far more likely to keep playing a game when I'm tired than I am to keep plodding along on a treadmill. I might want to get to a new level, or beat a high score, or whatever.

But the first time it ever crossed my mind was about 5 years ago when I was at a conference for work. The hotel I stayed at was across the street from a very nifty arcade and a friend I was with suggested we try it out. Well, while I was there, I saw a teenager playing his DDR heart out for
about half an hour, and he was absolutely covered in sweat. I remember my mind briefly thinking, "wow... That looks like a good workout!"

Anyway, as I said, my version (and many other versions) of DDR actually has a workout mode. You can input your weight and set a few options in order to configure your workout. You can specify if you want to exercise for a certain amount of time, or a certain amount of calories, and the system will craft an exercise routine just for you! It starts out slow to warm up, builds in intensity, and then slows down at the end to cool. Somehow or another it even estimates the calories you've burned.

One Week Into the New Diet

2007-01-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

I'm usually not a person who makes New Year's Resolutions. I do believe in changing myself for the better, but it seems pointless to wait until New Year's to do it. If I want to change myself, it's better to start right when I have the urge. In this case, the urge just happened to come around New Year's day, so I actually have a real live resolution this year.

You see, I was just on a short vacation to visit family. It was a very fun trip. The thing is, I hadn't seen my sister in about 2 years. I last saw her when she came here to visit and had a 6 month old. Naturally, she was holding lots of baby weight from two kids, plus had that extra-curvy nursing body still. However, this visit, I was the one with the 5 month old, the baby weight, and the nursing body. I'm 40 pounds over where I was before I had kids. She just lost 35 pounds. We have such identical body types that it was like looking at a living, breathing "this is what you could be!" poster. I have to say, it hit me like a ton of brick. I couldn't believe how small she looked. I don't think she's ever weighed less than me before. Ever. I think seeing my sister made an impact on my mom too, because we both swore to lose weight for real this time. My husband also joined up, and my mom told my dad he was, too. He has diabetes, and while he lost a good deal of weight around the time he was diagnosed he still has at least 50 pounds he really should lose.

Apparently my sister made this big change by:

Not having any more babies. :D
Gave up her breakfast Coke.
Stopped snacking by playing World of Warcraft all evening.

Now, um, I don't think this particular diet will work for me. I have no idea how the rest of my family intends to lose, but I've signed up for weightwatchers again. I'm doing Core, and I have to say, having 10 extra breastfeeding points a day sure helps stick to Core! That means I can eat all the Core foods, plus 10 bf points per day, plus 5 points a day as part of the Core plan (you get 35 points to spread over the week), plus I can eat any other activity points. Just yesterday I scored 3 activity points playing Dance Dance Revolution.

Now, I know in the beginning of diets you tend to lose a lot of weight without much work, but I was quite pleased to see that not only did I keep within my points (I actually had 15 left over for the week! I'm too good at this, I guess....) but I lost 3.2 pounds. Go me!!

Hopefully DDR will help me out a lot. I find it hard to do exercises -- it really bores me. But if it's part of a game, my competitiveness will keep me going! My son likes to try to dance along too (or just run in circles) and likes to pick out the music I dance to. My husband takes turns too. Hopefully we'll keep it up!

Also, I just used my birthday gift certificate on a set of weights to do some lifting. I'm going to start following one of the routines from stumptuous.com and use the videos from Weightwatchers online to figure out how to do the exercises correctly.

Wish me luck!

Homeschooling Grandparents

2006-11-27T14:25:00.000-08:00

I just read an interesting entry about grandparents who homeschool their grandkids. What an amazing idea!

Of course, that's the root of my quandaray, really. In order to be able to afford homeschooling (that is, me quitting my job and having the family rely on one income), I need to move away from my parents. There's no way we could afford it out here in Silicon Valley.

That's probably the number one reason we haven't moved yet. I can't imagine being away from my parents, who are two of my absolute best friends. And great parents. And excellent drop-of-the-hat babysitters. I love to watch my mom play with my kids. I can't imagine interfering with that wonderful relationship. Or my relationship with them. And, now that they are getting older, I just want to be there to support them if they ever ever ever need it at all.

But staying here for them means sending the kids to public school. In California. Gah. If I want them to see a half decent school, it means moving to ultra yuppieville. Not only do I not want to pay that kind of money on a house (renting, that is, I could never afford a $2 million home), I don't really want to live around a lot of the people who live there. Not to mention, it means giving up on owning a house.

Life has too many difficult decisions. All I know is I can't stay at my present job. I won't really go into details (I have no desire to Dooce myself!), but I really just don't like it, despite the excellent pay, benefits, and perks it has. The project is just too demoralizing.

The Mommy Smell

2006-11-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

Chaotic Mom over at Chaotic Home has a post about Febreeze and how:

When mom's have babies, they're told their babies know their own mommy's smell. Let's be honest, this "smell" is really a mommy "stench" because Mommy is too tired to take a shower some days.

I was just thinking about this yesterday. My kids just started daycare/preschool in preparation for me going back to work on Friday. (And yes, it's tearing me up inside and I hate this. Ugh. It doesn't help that my job isn't on my "fun" list right now either... but I'm not going to say anything else about that and inadvertantly dooce myself.)

One of the sort of silly things that actually really bugs me so much about an infant in daycare is how when I pick my baby up at the end of the day, she (and before same with my son) doesn't smell right. She smells like some other woman, or her dryer sheets or something. It really stabs me deep in my heart and makes me want to cry right on the spot. I can hardly wait to get home and give her a bath or change her clothes or just et her all stinky with ME smell.

I don't know if it's a subconscious hormonal animal reaction, or if it's because just knowing she smells like someone else reminds me that someone else spent the day holding her, and rocking her, and feeding her, and it wasn't me. Someone else got to see her smiles, hear her coos, and be the center of her world. And that kills me.

But I've survived this before. My son started daycare even younger than she did, and he's still fiercely addicted to me. I'm not really worried that she's going to bond with someone else more than me. I just ache to be with her. It just feel horrible to be apart, and when she smells wrong it 's just being smacked in the face even harder with a constant reminder that I wasn't there.

What Archaic Word Do You Want Back?

2006-10-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

Over at finslippy, they're talking about which archaic phrases would be fun to use again.

Personally, I just can't get enough of the word "dolt". It's short, to-the-point, and actually sounds like an insult.

I was always rather fond of "ugful", but I'm not sure anyone ever used that except for Shakespeare.

Boneless Chicken Broth and Kitchen Science

2006-10-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

So, despite the fact that depression tells me I'm not ever getting anything done because my to do lists are never finished (whose are?!?!), I really am doing pretty well.

The living room and den are passably clean. The other rooms are doing okay. The dishes get done every night. I've been making dinner most nights -- sometimes it's more impressive than others. ;) I've been making cookies with my son, and playing games with him. I read to him at night almost every night (sometimes the baby chooses bedtime to want to nurse, so I end up missing reading those nights, but my husband gets reading duty that night). We have been going places, like the Children's museum. We even did some simple science projects yesterday -- paper chromatography and a study of surface tension. Not that he had any idea what he was learning, but he had fun, and he'll remember the projects, at least.

For paper chromatography, all you need is markers, coffee filters, and a little bowl of water. Pick an interesting marker color, and put a dot about an inch from the bottom of the coffee filter. Then put the filter in the water, making sure the marker dot doesn't go under water. Hold it in the water, and watch the water slowly creep up the filter. The marker will travel up the paper with the water but (and this is key!) different pigment colors will travel at different rates. This allows the water the separate the marker ink into it's constituent inks. For example if you test brown, it generally splits into cyan, yellow, and red (or magenta). You'll see that some markers colors use the exact same pigments, just in different ratios. (Here's a discussion, with images. I recommend a dot of marker, not a line. You'll get better separation. ;) )

For surface tension, all you need is pepper, dish soap, and water. Grab a bowl (or a tupperware container, whatever!) and put about an inch of water in the bottom. Sprinkle pepper on top (if you have a pepper grinder, it gives the kids something to do while you do the dishes... :D Plus, if your kids like pepper grinders like mine does, he's thrilled he gets to use it for something, and might spend less time putting pepper all over his dinner, resulting in dinner that doesn't get eaten...). The pepper will distribute itself evenly over the top of the water. Then, use a finger or a dropper or something to drip one drop of soapy water into the middle of the dish. Plop! All the pepper suddenly flies to the edges of the water! (Here's a good discussion of surface tension. Or do a google search!)

And finally, yesterday I made some chicken stock. Sort of. See, I had the husband go to the store last week, and asked him to buy "chicken parts". I don't think I said what they were for, and I probably should have been more specific... See, bought boneless chicken thighs. Did I look at the package? Nope. I saw thighs and decided to make some soup. I'm having allergies or a cold or something, and figure having some chicken stock around would be nice. So I simmered the chicken thighs for an hour or whatever before I took them out to get the meat off the bones. I went though half a dozen thighs before I realized there were no bones! Argh! I am pretty surprised though. I do have a broth that tastes like chicken, and after a night in the fridge it's obvious it has at least some gelatin in it (the stuff that makes chicken broth act like jello when it's cold -- but the gelatin mostly lives inside chicken bones, I thought!), despite the complete lack of bones. The broth is a really odd yellow color though. You could mistake the tub of it for lemon jello... until you eat it!

Depression

2006-10-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I hate depression. I hate the feedback loop that I get stuck in that just makes it worse and worse. I hate writing about depression. I don't want anyone to know. It merely adds to the feelings of shame and guilt that depression feeds on.

But that's where I am right now. I don't know if it's post-partum hormones... or lack of sleep (lack of sleep is a very strong depression trigger for me), or just the realization that I'm going to have to send my two babies back to daycare. Or all three. Or even more.

I'm sort of in a horrible predicament though, for someone as picky as me and for someone who plans as much as me. When I became pregnant, my husband wasn't working and was home with our son. So I didn't look for a daycare for the baby or a preschool for my son. Suddenly, a mere week or two before the baby was born, my husband got a job offer that he just couldn't refuse. (And I wouldn't want him to -- he really needed to get back to work. While staying home with our son was great, it isn't something he wants to do permenently...!)

The problem is, he got a job offer when I was super pregnant, miserable, and incapable of thinking straight. Then the baby was born, and let's just say that's not a good idea to calmly discuss ways to part mommy from infant. I, um, basically refused to talk about daycare for a few weeks, as if ignoring it would make it go away. I already knew that 6 weeks was not long enough to find a decent daycare. The good ones have 6 month waiting lists. Luckily, I realized that with my husband now working, we could afford for me to take longer than the standard 6 weeks leave. So I submitted paperwork for 6 more weeks.

This entire time, I've been mentally beating myself up for not putting them on daycare waiting lists "just in case". Which is crazy -- the daycare my son went to requires $100 to get on the wait list, per kid. Who has a spare $200 laying around "just in case" when there's onle one income?! But hey, tha'ts depression. Crazy thinking that seems logical, all just to make you feel worse about yourself. But I feel like I've let everyone down. I didn't plan well enough, and now they'll be going to who-knows-what daycare. I'm not happy with the idea of placing my kids at whatever place is unpopular enough to have a short wait list, you know?

I was watching a science program on TV last night. I think it was Nova. And there was a segment on a guy who isn't just an accomplished writer, but also an accomplished scientist. And they were talking about how most people think those are two poles on some sort of linear scale -- the artist and the scientist. And in fact, they really have so much in common. And they discussed with him (and other writers and scientists) how hard it is because with both disciplines, you get engulfed by your work. It has to be your passion. Or, as they said, you don't become a writer or a scientist just because you want to, you become one because you can't NOT be one. It calls you. And while you are engaged in a book or an interesting problem, you aren't a very fun person to be around. You are obsessed. You totally throw yourself into the problem, and everything else has to wait. And they're completely and totally right.

So I started crying my eyes out watching it.

I miss science. I miss it so much. I want to grab a problem and throw myself into it and discover some neat new science thing. Or just read articles until I understand the world better. But I cannot. When I was in grad school, I saw that being a good scientist and being a good wife and mother is pretty much impossible. At least for me. Maybe some people can pull it off. Maybe they have more energy, or a less demanding family, or something. But I can't do it.

I think only other moms understand the level of sacrifice that it takes to have kids.

It's a sacrifice that I will never regret. My kids and my husband are more important to me than anything. They are more important than me and my needs. But that didn't keep me from wondering, and wishing, and crying. Just for a moment, to mourn the "what could have beens". But that just feeds the depression monster even more.

Well, my mom stayed home with us for 10 years. And then she went back to science, and she's done pretty well in her career after all, I suppose.

But I hate having to go to work and having it be something I don't care about. It's pretty much the worst of both worlds isn't it? I spend all day long away form my kids, wasting energy on something I don't even care about, and I don't have the energy or time to do what I want to at home. And I don't have the energy or drive to really do my best at work, since I really just don't care. Don't ge tme wrong -- I do my best at work, and I gve them my best. But your best is always better when you're inspired, and have that drive you get from passion.

Interrogation Techniques Revealed!

2006-09-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

The CIA's list of interrogation techniques was leaked to the papers:

"The techniques sought by the CIA are: induced hypothermia; forcing suspects to stand for prolonged periods; sleep deprivation; a technique called "the attention grab" where a suspect's shirt is forcefully seized; the "attention slap" or open hand slapping that hurts but does not lead to physical damage; the "belly slap"; and sound and light manipulation."

...and?

I mean, seriously, my kids subject me to 6 of the 7 on a semi-daily basis. They have never, however, induced hypothermia. They're more likely to make you sweat to death. On top of those other 6 techniques, they do other fun things. I think we'd get a lot more information out of the terrorists if we made them nurse a teething baby. We could hold a tube of lanolin just out of reach!

(Nursing is going pretty well, but she gets a little too, uh, enthusiastic. Like her brother was...)

Oh, right, I had a baby!

2006-09-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

I've had it pointed out to me that I, uh, sorta forgot to mention that I
had a baby!

She was born on August 4th, after a relatively easy labor. Thank
goodness... Her brother was not an easy birth, and the recovery was
awful. (With him, my husband had to stay home for 4 weeks just to take
care of us!)

She is a happy pretty pink pudgy little piggy. She makes the cutest
little grunting noises and already sometimes lets me sleep 5 hours
straight at night. (Her brother had colic.... So I'm shocked and pleased
that I sometimes get sleep, instead of a baby screaming from midnight
until 3 am...!)

By 2 weeks after she was born, she was already a pound over her birth
weight! She's a very good eater... Or I have really powerful milk, or
something. :D

Now, if only I could get the house cleaned up before I have to go back
to work. (*sigh*)

I'm Back!

2006-09-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry, just had a baby. It was a little busy there for a while... and I hadn't been doing a lot of cleaning, so the idea of posting was, quite frankly, very depressing.

I have been recovering pretty quickly though, which is great! I had a very slow, long, horrible recovery with my son, so I was expecting this all to take longer. Happily, I'm already doing a lot of chores and starting to declutter again. I don't know when the place was last vacuumed, though. :( I have a ton of catching up to do.

Of course, today I feel pretty horrible. I don't know if it's allergies or what. My abdominal muscles are still incredibly weak (thehy were stretched really thin!) so I usually have a sore back, and I have to wear an abdominal binder or I feel like my guts are going to fall out. Some days they still feel like that anyway!

So, right now, the goal is to keep up on the daily tasks like the dishes, laundry, etc.. and start decluttering the den. I really need to get my son's toys all cleaned up, because right now they are all over everything in every room, and he can never find anything he's looking for! I'm hoping to bo some up that he isn't using, and put some others up on shelves so that there's some actual floor space available. Then I start migrating to the other rooms to fix them. I know I'm supposed to go to a new room each week, bt without hte den cleaned up, I just don't see how I can clean up any other room!

Yesterday I got some shelves out of hte garage and cleaned them up and started putting the fisher price little people toys on them. Just with a little cleaning like that (and getting dh to move some boes out..!) it's already a lot better. I just wish I felt better and oculd run in and do it all in one day. I've been living in mess and dirt too long, and I'm worried about the fact that we haven't vacuumed or dusted enough, in a house with lead paint! Ugh... I hate this place.

Murphy's Law Strikes Again

2006-06-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

That darn Murphy came to get me. Just as I was happily updating that while I'm not perfect, everything was going along pretty much, with much improvement.... my uterus had other ideas.

Yes indeedly, just about 6 hours after my May Update post, I found myself at the hospital in labor & delivery being checked for pre-term labor! Everything's okay -- it's not pre-term labor, just an awful huge honking pile of unpleasant, yet non-productive, contractions. The doctor put me on bed rest for a week. Now, it's nice to get to have an unexpected vacation from work.... but the house just fell apart! My regular OB says bed rest isn't shown to prevent pre-term labor, but (on the other hand) when I stand up, I'm dizzy, short of breath, and my contractions worsen. So I'm still on self-imposed bed rest. With minor exceptions (I let myself do a load of laundry every day. I'm not even folding it! But at least everyone will have clean, though wrinkly, underwear).

My dad's coming over to visit later. I'm trying not to freak out over the dirty dishes in the sink, and the mess everywhere. I think I will bother to go take a shower and put on some pants, though. ;)

DH fed us three meals a day, kept The Boy in clean diapers, and went to the grocery store. The Boy cleaned up the toys on the floor of the living room each night. But most of the other chores did not, in any way, get done. It's hard to watch the house fall apart like that, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Oh well. A little set back. It's still not as bad as it was 5 months ago, and it will get better again. Baby steps.

How Am I Doing on Those Virtues?

2006-05-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

I did stop actively journaling about my attempts at improving myself as Franklin did, by trying to improve myself in a different virtue a week... but that doesn't mean I haven't improved at all! I'd say I've just been focusing on the few virtues that I'd really like to get more focus on right now, and save some of the other ones for later. So lets see how I've been doing on those virtues for the past six months or so.

Temperance

Doing very well here, I'd say. I'm pregnant, so my caffeine habit is at a minimum (I drink one cup of coffee a day), I drink half a glass of wine maybe every couple of weeks. I don't generally over-eat because it just feels too uncomfortable with my already huge stomach. I've been eating low carb, trying to avoid another diagnosis of gestational diabetes (and I did it! No GD this time!). I cook dinner almost every night, and it tends to be something tasty and pretty healthy. I'm having a lot more salads, too.

Silence

I'd say I'm about the same here. I mean, I don't really have time for much "trifling conversation" but I don't think I've done anything in particular to weed it out.

Order

I'd say this is right up FlyLady's alley! I'm working on finding a place for everything (even if that place is the trash or goodwill, or whatever!) and finding a time to do all the important things I have to do. Those times might not be specific hours and minutes, but certain parts of the day. Very FlyLady, and I'm making a lot of progress here.

Resolution

I'd say I'm also improving here. Instead of making lists that I never follow, and then get guilty about not following it, I do more of the things I resolve to do more often. Still, like all other things, there is room for improvement.

Frugality

We are certainly more frugal in one very big way -- grocery store shopping! Fewer trips, less wasted food, less eating out. I think DH has cut down on some of his spending, but we could certainly work more here. But I do notice the grocery bill difference for sure!

Industry

I'd say this is definitely improved. I do spend more time working and less time resting. However, some people might say that isn't necessarily a good thing in a 29-week-pregnant lady. ;) I really do need to improve in this, though I have improved some. I do still spend a little too much time "waking up" in the morning. Heck, right now I should be getting work done and instead I'm journaling.

Sincerity

Okay, probably not doing so hot here. I'm pregnant. Things just spill out.

Justice

Probably about the same as before. I don't think I have much of a problem with this.

Moderation

Eh, once again -- I'm pregnant. Not an excuse, but it isn't something I've been able to manage to curtail. I do harbor resentment, and I am allowing things to get to me.

Cleanliness

Much improved!!

Tranquility

As far as my son is concerned, I think I'm mostly better at this, though when I'm in a mood, I'm certainly not that great. My patience sometimes flies out the window. With dh and at work, I'm probably far worse. It's been hard, and I know I'm letting to beat me up inside.

Chastity

...still none of your business. ;)

Humility

Oh lord, it's hard to be humble.... and I'm not.

End of May Update

2006-05-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I need to update more often... I just don't seem to have the time!

Lately I've been really bogged down by the fact that I feel like no one helps me. Dh has noticed the work I've been doing, and gives me a really sincere thank you from time to time. Of course, that's nice and it feels good! But working full time and being 29 weeks pregnant, I'd like it a whole lot more if he would pitch in! Or, at the very least, not criticize our 3 year old son when he tries to help me. I swear! :P I know he's trying to be helpful, but I just want out son to not be traumatized by helping mommy clean.

Anyway, I'm doing pretty well keeping up with daily things. I just can't seem to find time to clear hotspots or declutter, which gets a little frustrating and tempts me into thinking I haven't gotten anything done. But hey! When I got up this morning, the dishes were done, the sink was clean, the living room floor was picked up, I could find the tv remotes!, and the dining room table was mostly clear (one end is a hotspot) and clean. It was so nice to be able to sit down and eat without washing dishes or being disgusted. Oh, plus there were plenty of clean clothes (I still need to work on laying the out, but at least they're all clean, folded, and mostly put away!)

I've come so far! I hope ill be able to get some more decluttering done before the baby is here.

Oh! And I go grocery shopping only once a week (plus dh goes to costco once a week for meat, cheese, and bread) and make dinner almost every night! :) sure saves time and money, and its tastier and healthier too!

I'd say I'm doing pretty darn good. :) So, it's not perfect. No one's perfect. I'm getting better, and I'm doing pretty well. And that's good enough for now.

Babysteps to Flying

2006-05-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think I've confessed this before, but I've been a "FLYBaby" for oh... 6 years? I don't know, how long has she been doing this? :D And I'm still not very good at it. I just didn't "get" it for the longest time. I'm way too stubborn.

Anyway, I've been trying to slow down and do baby steps. I'm really not good at that. I find it too frustrating in the beginning, because you know, we're alreayd at this point because things are so messy we can't stand them one more minute. So I can't handle that I may not get the place looking "cleaner" until 8 months from now.

I think I finally started getting it last year, but then we all went on vacation, got sick, and I got pregnant! I totally "fell off teh FlyLady wagon" and had to get back into it again. I wasn't all that good at it to begin with!

Anyway, I'm going through her 30 baby steps now, trying to take my time. I just got a little upset that I was only on about step number 12. After getting back on the wagon for two months. So I decided to see what the rest of the steps were, to see how much more work I had to do to really get fully into what I was supposed to be doing. Well, to my surprise.... I'm doing most of the later things already! I really only have about 5 more things to add to my routine, it looks like. (Though I still need to get more solid on the things I have there now). But it isn't another 20 things, and that's what's important! I'm already planning dinner, checking calandars, eating well, and doing my laundry every day! GO ME! Those were all tasks to add in the coming days. I really, really only have 5 things to add, eventually. I think on top of those, I have another dozen (maybe?) in mind I want to add, specific to me. Like cleaning out the pet cages (ugh!).

Still to add:

Kelly's daily missions (not adding those until everything is decluttered enough somewhere that I can actually DO them)
Make bed (Actually, does anyone have a recommendation here? My husband and I have our own sets of sheets/covers/blankets/etc because we really aren't good at sharing, plus I always want to be super-toasty warm, and he apparently sleeps better when he's freezing to daeth. How do you make a bed with two sets of everything??)
Look at Ask Flylady every day
Complete Control Journal
weekly pamper mission

Not too bad, huh??

Just yesterday I was getting really upset again that I felt like I wasn't doing anything right. But I managed to make some dinner, straighten things up, keep the laundry going, and all that with a bad sinus headache! While I was working from home, watching my son, helping DH with homework, and I managed to clean up the front yard some.

Yay me!! I like making lists of accomplishments. It seems ot always make me feel better. I think having a really super long to do list just makes me really scared and upset. But I really am doing a lot! I just have a lot of demands! (Maybe we can find a way to declutter those too!!)

Well, so much for that

2006-04-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed, how once something is working for you, the second you mention it to other people, it all falss apart? It's happened that way when my son slept through the night, when he was momentarily potty-trained, when I was sure my morning sickness went away... and now it's happened with FLYLady.

I was doing so well. Past tense. I have managed to keep up with some of the simpler routines, but certianly nothing resembling decluttering this week. It's too bad, too, because I was really looking forward to this week, in the bedroom! It's just been a bad week. We did actually get other important things done instead, I guess. DH did mow the lawn yesterday. I did pruning outside on Wednesday. I've gotten to the store and made dinner. I'm kept up on laundry. I've even gotten to bed earlier, and gotten up earlier so I could have a little alone time in the morning. That's helped a lot, because I can get some nice work done at home in the morning when I'm at my most constructive.

We also have had The Boy out play play for over an hour every day, which he hasn't been getting a lot of before now, due to rain. But with all the being outside, it doesn't make it easier to clean inside! We also spent a fun time last night with the neighbors looking at stars. I guess we have gotten a lot done. Just different stuff, really. The living room isn't that far out of control, and the den is almost unchanged since it was cleaned, since The Boy hasn't really even been down there. I've kept up my swish & swipe in the bathrooms, too.

Okay, I guess I'm not doing too bad! Just missing out on my zone decluttering and my hotspots. I wish I laid out my clothes every day, but really it's not as big a deal when you have the laundry done and folded away, since it's so easy to find clothes!

Wow. I feel a lot better now. Thank you for listening, internet!

Trust

2006-04-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

Now that I think of it, I think that was problem all along. I mean, I've been trying to follow FLYLady for what -- five years? Six years? How long has she been around?!

But I have a big ego, and tend to think most people are, uh, not so useful. Ben Franklin would yell at me for that, though he was exactly the same, now wasn't he? ;)

On top of that, there is the ever-present issue that if I try something, it means I could possibly fail. We perfectionists don't like that! So if I don't really try, then I can't really fail. But hey, you also can't really succeed, now can you? So I guess I sabotage myself before it even has a chance to work.

At the very beginning of the past 3-4 weeks of FLYing, after my first big day where I really noticed a change, it totally freaked me out. The living room was CLEAN. Vacuumed. No toys on the floor. Clean! It was wonderful. And moments after I realized that, I thought that now I was going to have to work to keep it that way. It made me happy, it made my son happy. And how could I deny my son happiness? But I doubted I could keep it up because, after all, I never had before. So that clean room managed to inexplicably make me feel like a failure and a bad mom! How crazy is that? But I do the same thing to myself all the time.

But I've gotten past that, at least for now. I managed to push through and get these routines more settled. The beginning must be the hardest. When you have no routine to build on, it's hard to get traction! But I finally did. I have routines! And they are already getting so much easier. I have laundry practically on autopilot now. The living room and den have been decluttered every night to make sure the floor is clear and toys are put away. It's so nice to get up to a cleaner house.

But the really hard part was the first leap of faith, to do the work and get to here. It's so, incredibly hard. I don't have enough trust to do it, usually. I think the only reason it worked this time is because I'm pregnant. What's that, you say? Pregnant? What does that have to do with it?? Well, basically, I'm in the second trimester. That means that we're past the first trimester exhaustion. We're past morning sickness. We're not quite to the point that you feel like a huge beached whale and that moving isn't possible, much less cleaning. And, to top it off, you have extra energy provided by the need to nest. It's like being possessed by some sort of cleaning demon! And that extra energy and drive and craziness gave me just enough oomph to finally get off my rear end and get some stuff done! Thank you pregnancy hormones!

Thank you FLYLady.

Progress report for march

2006-04-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I haven't been keping this up to date at all! The good news
is that I have begun FLYing! Maybe that's why I haven't found time for
hwre yet.

I'm nowhere near "perfect". But I have been trying to follow my routines
in good faith for several weeks now. And you know what? I don't need
complicated progress reports to know I'm improving. I know because my
house is cleaner! (Duh!)

I've almost finished my first month, and its just making so much more
sense now. My problem was that I could never see how her way could
result in a cleaner house. It seemed like their weren't enough zones for
all my rooms, so I spent all my time trying to invent new zones, or
squishing more in. Crazy! Now I'm just happy because a few rooms are
clean, from zone decluttering. Ill get to the other rooms in time. I
know I will. I can't believe how well this works but I just never
manages to keep at it for a few weeks to find out!

And really, I still have very simple routines and sometimes even miss
things in my routine. Yesterday I didn't manage to do a 15 minute
decluttering. Mondays seem to be hard days for me. But my other rooms
still got picked up, and my.sink is shining. What a great feeling!

Weekend Flyer

2006-03-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

This weekend was much better. We were still all sick, but we managed to clean up the kitchen and the living room a little, and I did at least half of my Flylady chores. (Yeah, I know, I did like 5, maybe.... But that's better than 0!)

Here's hoping this week will be better. I think we're mostly over the intestinal illness of doom.

Week's Progress

2006-03-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

This week shows little to no progress. I've been sick with some sort of allery/sinus infection, feeling my morning sickness, and (thanks to enjoying a child birthday party at one of those "play pizza places") everyone in the family is ill with one of those fun digestive system viruses.

Now, I know Flylady would like me to still get up and do 5 minutes here or there, but hey -- I'm pregnant, throwing up, dizzy, headachy, and have all the joy that intestinal distress can bring you.

A Kinder, Simpler To Do List

2006-03-03T16:54:00.000-08:00

Maybe I tried to jump in too fast. Maybe I'm just too tired. I know it would be nice if I had all my routines figured out and I could just use them to clean up the house -- but they're not set yet. I think I need to add each thing in my routine a little more slowly, so I don't just have a list of tasks, I will have a hard-coded series of steps I always perform.

I actually know this, deep down inside. When I was yonger, I know I always forgot something when I was getting ready for school in the morning. I'd forget to brush my teeth, or forget my deoderant, or something equally horrible and embarrassing. So I developed an entire bathroom routine. It took some time to get all the steps in the right order, but I put each one in the easist place for it to go, and for over a decade now, I do the exact same thing every morning. For example, I brush my teeth before my shower, because I hate minty mouth taste, and that way I can use the shower water to rinse my mouth out over and over while I shower. I make sure to brush my hair and put on deoderant before I use lotion, because lotiony hands can't grip anything. ;) But it takes weeks or months to figure out exactly where each step of something even as seemingly simple as a morning shower routine should go to make everything run as smoothly as possible. And I think I tried to take on too many steps at once.

So we're going to try for a more simpler routine. I'm having a lot of trouble not making this a much longer list! I think partly because at one point I was doing a much longer list. :(

Morning:
1. Get up and get dressed right after breakfast.
2. Empty dishwasher.

Afternoon:
1. Five minute room resuce.
2. Make dinner.
3. Laundry.

Evening:
1. Do dishes and shine sink and take dirty cups downstairs.
2. Lay out clothes for tomorrow and take dirty clothes downstairs.
3. Plan tomorrow's dinner.

Like a Phoenix...

2006-02-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

... I rise again!

Yes, I've deleted some posts. I realize that blogs really have to be more focused to be useful. So this one is now all about home life (cooking, cleaning, etc.), self-improvement, and so forth.

I was doing pretty well last fall, but somehow over Christmas (and vacation, and getting pregnant!) everything fell apart. Gotta get back on the wagon! I'm 16 weeks along as of today.

So it's off with lists, lists, lists, and more lists!

Done in by Caramel Cupcakes

2005-10-27T15:53:00.000-07:00

My son loves eating muffins. He likes to have one for breakfast. He's absolutely adorable when he picks up an enormous Costco muffin in his tiny little hands. It's gerbilesque in its cuteness.

So, yesterday, when The Boy was despairing that his daddy wouldn't be home when we got home (he takes night classes), I suggested that we make some muffins. Because we were out of Costco muffins, and I already foresaw the tantrum he would throw in the morning. So why not kill two birds with one stone? This tantrum and the next one? And heck, it's good family cooking fun, too.

So The Boy agreed that muffins would be a good idea, and his tantrum was averted. He was giddy and excited about cooking muffins. He loves cooking, he loves muffins. He really likes to "taste" the ingredients. Often. Especially the sugar.

His favorite muffin is the poppyseed muffin. Oh, he eats so many of these, that the lucky person changing his diaper can tell for days that he's been eating poppyseeds. But I have no poppyseeds at home, so I suggested we make apple muffins. Apple! That's almost healthy! And he agreed, apple muffins. When we were nearly home, the evil radio had a commercial featuring chocolate. At which point The Boy declared he wanted to make chocolate muffins with chocolate chips. Oh dear -- that's not quite as healthy as I had planned. But... no matter. We will make chocolate muffins.

We returned home, and I looked for a chocolate muffin recipe, and couldn't find one! I couldn't even find one on the internet that looked appealing, or that I had all the ingredients to. So I looked in Fine Cooking. I adore that magazine. Everything is so yummy. Though I still could not find a chocolate muffin recipe that didn't involve an ingredient I did not have (white chocolate, raspberries, etc) or that I didn't want to feed my son (espresso!).

So I settled on something similar that I knew would appeal -- the caramel cupcake. Okay, we're veering more towards unhealthy here. This is no longer a muffin (and frankly, they're just little cakes) but a full fledged cup cake, complete with icing. Oh well, The Boy approved (he adores caramel!) so we made those muffins. I have an adorable little mini muffin tin, so I thought what better way to make sure I don't eat too many, than to make tiny muffins!

No. Does not work that way. Instead, the tiny, scrumtious, little caramel cupcakes just caused me to need to eat many of them. So cute. So tasty. And so the reason I lost a few marks for temptation and moderation!!

But I think Ben* would have liked them.

(* -- Franklin, silly.)

This is What I Mean When I Say So Many Studies Are Flawed

2005-10-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

I recently got a link to this article from a friend of mine, who knows that one thing I hate is how awful some supposed "research" is these days. There are people using data to justify conclusions that aren't remotely supported by their evidence. They misuse statistics left and right, and leave enourmous gaps where there should have been follow up studies. They use really awful data sets. Bad samples. Here's an example of all of the above!

http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB112850855225260475.html

I've never read The Number Guy's column before, but I just signed up to get an email when there's a new one! Excellent column.

Is That A Typo??

2005-10-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

... you might wonder. No, I really am giving myself a "12" for both tranquility and sincerity. I was an angry little cloud of doom yesterday. Work was frustrating, home was frustrating, and while I was trying my best to rise above it, my mind kept going back to how wronged and angry I was. 12 is either my best estimate, or I just lost count.

Not a good day.

It made me work less, I gossiped a bit, it was just an all out crap of a day.

Week Two: Do-over!

2005-10-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, you may have noticed I just sort of disappeared off the face of the earth. Well, what happened was that we had nine people in from out of town at work this week -- several of them from two different vendors! So, I basically spent 9-6 in meetings. All day. Every day. After that, I was exhausted and everything was a mess.

I did cook dinner (or reheat healthy delicious leftovers) every night.

Today I'm staying home. I'd planned on cleaning, and I have done a little, but I'm feeling guilty for not doing more. But most of all, I got a little chance to just sort of relax. There's no littler person demanding time, no meetings to go to, no deadlines, no desperate THING that needs to be done. We have groceries. We have dinner. We have the little errands done. And I'm taking a well-deserved rest. I need to rest.

Of course, I'd be resting more if my husband wasn't in the other room going a tad bit melodramatic over his homework. If he swears and screams one more time... well... I'll have to go hide upstairs or something. This is my day off. I'm supposed to be relaxing, not cringing every time he gets upset. I can't help it. It puts me on edge, and makes me jump, and makes me just... nervous. I want to fix it. But I can't do his homework for him (I mean, it's wrong, besides the fact that I don't know C++ that well.)

Anyway, I didn't really have time or energy to clean or try to improve myself last week, so I'm declaring a do-over!

Week Two: Silence

2005-10-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

So, every Monday I will recap the last week, and then introduce this week's virtue.

Last week was temperence. I'd say I did a pretty good job. I cooked dinner every night, and did a pretty good job of not stuffing myself silly even though it was tasty food. I was moderate on the caffeine, though I would like to continue working on bringing it down to a lower level. I had one drink all week -- a margarita at dinner on Saturday. Mmmm! (Note: Not to imply I have a drinking problem or anything; just verifying that I'm observing moderation in food and drink as my buddy Ben prescribes.)

Week of 10/10 - 10/16: I don't have a table of marks against me by virtue this week. I only came up with the idea partway through the week, so it wouldn't be very useful statistically.

This week's virtue is Silence:

Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Now, this doesn't mean I stop working on the other virtues, this is just the one we'll focus on, to see where we might violate it and where we might improve.

Benjamin Franklin invented a fictional woman named Silence Dogood when he was 16. He began writing letters under her name to the New-England Courant, ridiculing all sorts of things, from drunks in the street, to bad fashion, to Harvard. (Amusingly enough, even then it was considered a place ruined by corruption and elitism). I wonder if this counted as trifling conversation or not.

A nice Franklin quote about silence:

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom, but Babbling is ever a folly.

Saving Dinner

2005-10-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

So, as a part of my improve-myself-and-not-feel-like-a-complte-loser-athon that I'm on, I also signed up for the Saving Dinner Menu Mailer service. It basically a friend of the FlyLady who wants to help people get back to cooking dinner by providing a week of recipes and ingredients, so you can just follow the instructions and have dinner. I'm pretty picky about recipes, but a friend said they liked it, so I decided to give it a shot.

So far, I'm not very impressed. I mean, I like that she has different options -- after looking at the sample menus, I skipped over the "regular" mailing menu and went for the Low Carb one. It's more meat-and-potatos sort of meals, as she describes it, and more like the sort of thing I'm used to eating. (Of course, that's probably because my Dad used to be very meat and potatoes and my mom grew up in a house with a diabetic, so we all sort of learned to cook very diabetic-friendly meals. Which isn't so much meat and potatos and meat and veggies. But close enough. Meat is certainly required, and the normal mailer wasn't always giving you a good hunk of animal protein). Also, since I am trying to both lose weight (not in the dieting sense -- just eat well, excercise and watch a pound leave every once in a while) and get pregnant (which requires a lot of protein). And even more, last time I was pregnant, I had gestational diabetes, so I figured I'd plan ahead and try to get a bunch of low-carb recipes, and I'd be ready in case I got diabetes again.

Anyway, to make a long story even longer... I have so say, so far I'm not terribly impressed with Saving Dinner. She tries to make the recipes too simple. I don't have a problem with simple, but you have to pick the right kind of recipe -- don't just make every recipe simple.

And example: Last night I tried the "Crustless Quiche" (though I bought pie crusts so we could have real quiche. I'm not a carb Nazi.) but part of the way through the recipe I just could not do what she was asking. She wanted we to just put the cheese, bacon and raw onion (?!) and flour (?!?!) into it, pour egg over and cook it. Raw onion? Is she nuts? Flour in a quiche?? Why?? So I just gave up and opened up Julia Child's How To Cook, and finished it with her instructions. (YUM!)

The other recipes I've tried involved cooking pork chops and jsut throwing orange slices on top, hoping to make a sauce (it was a bit bitter, and not really that exciting), and something that I guess was supposed to be teriyaki shrimp, but her sauce called for 1/2 cup soy sauce, 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar, and 2 tbs of brown sugar. I have to say, it was pretty vile once you threw a pile of shrimp in it.

The one recipe I was okay with was the "Burger Salad", but I added buns, and really, it was jsut hamburgers by then. And I made the salsa, but added mangos (I love mango salsa!). And I think I changed a few other things...

I guess it at least gave me the idea of shopping for a week of food, making the menus, and making dinner every night, just like my mom did when I was growing up. And it inspired meto cook things, even if it was never the actual recipes. I also put together a little XML system to track the recipes, complete with ratings, notes, and such, so I can assemble some sort of cookbook at a later time. I'll just gather recipes now -- later I'll assemble the database, maybe a front end, and render it all out as a book and mail it to people or something.

I have cooked every night for a week, except for Saturday -- that's the day we see my parents, and we ended up eating out that night. But that's ok. Just as long as it isn't every night, you know?

My New Plan

2005-10-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Let's see if this works. I'll update my charming new table in the sidebar every evening for that day's events. Then, at the end of the week, I'll post it so it can be archived. Each day I might bring up any particular good or bad deeds on my part, but I won't make you read anything nearly as boring as that long bulleted list. I hope.

Down the line, perhaps on a monthly basis, I can make the grpahis that I fantasize about, to chart my progress.

Tables in Blogger

2005-10-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Blogger help, I understand how to stick a table in here. The issue is that you need to have all the table tags on one line, no carriage return. Otherwise, for ever carriage return, Blogger inserts an extra line break, which makes a ton of white space above your table. Here's my gorgeous test table.

d	s	s	s	d	f	g	h
a	s	ds	f	f	f	hjj	d
f	f	f	f	f	d	d	d
d	d	d	d	d	d	d	d
dd	d	d	d	d	d	d	d
d	d	d	d	d	d	d	d

Changing My Style

2005-10-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

I hate how narrow this page is, so I'm going to work on making a new style. I may try out some of the samples, but more likely I'll tweak one to look nice and unique. Won't that be nice?

Update: Okay, I've settled on something that will do for now, I guess. I'd really like to put a picture of my buddy Ben up there, but that can wait. It's now a much more liquid layout, and that makes me happy. I'll fix up the colors later, too.

These Reports are Too Long and Boring

2005-10-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm not sure what to do here, These reports are seriously long, and how boring are they? I need a better way to tally this.

Self-Improvement Report 10/13/2005

2005-10-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

Franklin:

Temperance -- I had a healthy lunch, a cooked a good dinner, and I didn't overeat. At lunch I was tempted by chips, but I put them away and yogurt instead. Yogurt isn't perfect, but it sure beats chips. I had one chocolate after dinner, and resisted making myself a chocolate shake. I had some morning coffee, no tea.
Silence -- Full marks for that, I think. I'm probably missing something I did wrong.
Order -- I cleaned up and made things better than they were in the morning, again.
Resolution -- I made dinner, again, and sent off the spreadsheet and some other files I promised. I'm still behind on the XSL-FOs, however.
Frugality -- All I bought was lunch. I would have preferred to bring food instead, but I didn't have any leftovers, and I got up too late to make anything easy.
Industry -- Time was not wasted. Well, okay, another 2-hour AoE game.
Sincerity -- Far too cranky in the evening, I think. But I did pretty well up until the Boy's bedtime.
Moderation -- Yep!
Cleanliness -- Pretty good there, too.
Tranquility -- Yeah, I'm so not tranquill. I can't imagine how many black marks I get there.
Chastity -- Still none of your business.
Humility -- Mostly humble, I think? It may be hard for me to tell.

FlyLady:

Make bed - no
hotspot - no
laundry - yes
swish toilet - yes
15 mins in zone - yes
27 fling - yes
5 min - yes
pack lunch - no
dishes - yes
hotspot 2 - yes
vitamins/teeth - yes
Clean up kitchen, LR, DR - yes
lay out clothes - yes
gather things for tomorrow - yes
plan dinner - yes
check calandar - yes
clean fridge - no (I may move this to another day. This should be done the day before the grocery store, I'd think)
Paper clutter - yes -- of course, I wasn't able to finish it because I lost my password for the FSA site.
Clean purse - yes
trash - yes

Self Improvement Report for 10/12/2005

2005-10-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think instead of having a weekly scorecard, I'll do a daily report of how I did the day before.

Franklin:

Temperance -- Lunch was leftovers, dinner was very healthy, however I ate 2 pieces of chocolate at night. No drinking involved, and I kept my caffeine intake to a minimum (1 cup of coffee in the morning, a little tea in the afternoon).
Silence -- I did gossip a bit with my ex-editor on the phone (and here I said I don't do that a lot). I did do a good deal of blogging and email, but I'd like to think it helped everyone in some way. ;)
Order -- More details below with Flylady, but I did my part to put things in their place. I might not be doing quite as well with juggling work time, but I'm getting it nuder control with more task lists and schedules.
Resolution -- I did make dinner and did go to Target as I intended. And did cleaning as above. However I did not deliver a spreadsheet and a schedule that I promised.
Frugality -- I think I did okay. I made dinner for my family, instead of using expensive mixes or eating out. I tried to keep purchases to a minimum, though I'm not sure how much Franklin would approve of my Halloween decoration choices.
Industry -- I was quite industrious, until after I put my son to bed and we decided to play Age of Empires from midnight to 2 am. On the other hand, collaborative gaming is a very important part of our relationship. Yes, we actually tend to suffer when we don't shoot enough Huns together.
Sincerity -- I was a bit sharp-tongued with my son as he continually ran off in Target and worried me. It was a long day, though, and I was getting upset that he wasn't listening.
Justice -- I'm good on that.
Moderation -- Probably could use more blogging moderation. It seems to be feasting or starving here.
Cleanliness -- I was clean, my clothes are clean, and my house was cleaner when I went to bed than it was when I got up. It's still a mess, but it is improving.
Tranquility -- I was disturbed by trifles. I was angry at a coworker over stupid things. I was upset by my son misbehaving. I was irritated when my husband kept trying to just talk and I was trying to get some work/emailing done. I need patience.
Chastity -- You know, I honestly think this is none of your business. ;)
Humility -- Ugh. Not very humble. That didn't go well yesterday.

FlyLady:

Make bed - no
hotspot - yes
laundry - yes
swish toilet - yes
feed lizards - yes
15 mins in zone - yes
27 fling - yes
5 min - yes
pack lunch - no
dishes - no
hotspot 2 - yes
vitamins/teeth - yes
Clean up kitchen, LR, DR - yes
lay out clothes - no
gather things for tomorrow - yes
plan dinner - yes
check calandar - yes
clean fridge - no (I may move this to another day. This should be done the day before the grocery store, I'd think)
Paper clutter - no

UPDATE:

I jsut decided to go tackle some "paper clutter" and I think I'm late filing an FSA recipt, because I oculdn't find the stupid recipt... and as it turns out, it's in my computer bag. It's where I thought it should be, yet I never checked there to see if I actually put it where it belongs. How sad is that? Hopefully they'll take it, even if it's late.

How am I Doing With Those Virtues?

2005-10-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

Glad you asked.

Temperance -- I'm doing okay with this one. I've actually been trying to conceive since last christmas, so I've had to keep from too much drinking or anything. On the other hand, I have not been eating well. Let's just say it's a bad thing that Costco has jumbo sized bags of chocolate. On the other hand, thanks to Flylady, I also signed up for Saving Dinner, in order to help me make a good, healthy dinner every night. I just started last night. I'm not sure this will last, since some of these recipes are not wowing me. On the other hand, it inspired me to work on the Holy Grail of a perfect computer-based recipe system. In XML.
Silence -- I'm really not doing well at this, I don't think. It's hard to say. After all, maybe everything I say is of benefit to someone. I really don't gossip much, or talk about things that make no difference. I do chat with my son's teacher sometimes, but that helps us get to know each other better and strengthens the relationship between her and my family, and the stories are charming illustrations of my parenting style. Right?
Order -- Since moving to our new house, I've been trying to find a place for everything. And heck, that's why I'm currently obsessed with Flylady (are you tired of hearing about her yet?)
Resolution -- Well, I think you know how bad I am at that.
Frugality -- I'm also not good at that. Hopefully when I get more organized, I'll be better.
Industry -- Ugh. I've improved since I became a mom. there simply isn't time to waste all that often. Does playing Age of Empire count here? I mean, everyone needs a little hobby, right? Some way to blow off steam? Hmm.
Sincerity -- I'm mostly good at this. There are just a few people I can find no way to keep from harboring ill feelings about and ridiculing them mercilessly behind their backs. Generally, I just avoid people I can't stand. In their cases, I cannot, due to obligations of some kind.
Justice -- This I'd say I'm good at. I don't hurt people, and I do my duty. I'm sure I could improve -- there are times I yell at my son or snark at my husband that are surely not necessary. Hmm. Actually, I'm not that good at this one. I should, uh, "do my duty" to my husband more often, if you know what I mean. And spend more time playing with my son -- I spend a ton of time, but after cleaning, working, cooking, and so forth, his wedge of my time isn't very big. I'd like to give him as much as I can.
Moderation -- In some things, I'm good. In others, not at all. I mean, look at my blogging! Silent for a month, then 20 posts in a day. I tend to do that a lot.
Cleanliness -- I clean myself daily. I should shave more. My clothes are always clean, but I should take more time to remove stains and get out wrinkles. My habitation (I adore his word choice) is not that great. It is improving, though. I also recently cleaned my car, with was turning into a mobile trashcan. Thank you Flylady!
Tranquility -- That is so not me. It should be. I'll work on that one, Ben. (You don't mind if I call you Ben, do you?)
Chastity -- Er, well, I'm faithful. I swear I only use it for health (heh) and offspring. I could use more of the latter.
Humilty -- Oh my. I have a huge ego. I can't help it. I suppose I should work on this, too. Though in the past, I keep the ego, but add in heaping scoops of self-hatred. Or at least a complete lack of self-confidence.

I think I should go back to doing one of these a week, like my buddy Franklin did.

My intention being to acquire the habitude of all these virtues, I judg'd it would be well not to distract my attention by attempting the whole at once, but to fix it on one of them at a time; and, when I should be master of that, then to proceed to another, and so on, till I should have gone thro' the thirteen; and, as the previous acquisition of some might facilitate the acquisition of certain others, I arrang'd them with that view, as they stand above.

He goes on to say:

I determined to give a week's strict attention to each of the virtues successively. Thus, in the first week, my great guard was to avoid every the least offence against Temperance, leaving the other virtues to their ordinary chance, only marking every evening the faults of the day. Thus, if in the first week I could keep my first line, marked T, clear of spots, I suppos'd the habit of that virtue so much strengthen'd and its opposite weaken'd, that I might venture extending my attention to include the next, and for the following week keep both lines clear of spots. Proceeding thus to the last, I could go thro' a course compleat in thirteen weeks, and four courses in a year.

Is there a way to have a permalink in Blogger? Maybe I can leave the week's chart at the top of the page.

Virtues Now in Sidebar

2005-10-12T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a year now (a very quiet year) and I finally realized it would be a good idea to put the list of virtues over in the sidebar. It makes it easier to keep track of them.

Just looking them over again, it's easy to see how well Flylady fits into Franklin's Virtues.

Temperance -- Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Silence -- Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Order -- Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Resolution -- Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Frugality -- Make no expense but to do good to other or yourself, i.e., waste nothing.
Industry -- Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
Sincerity -- Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
Justice -- Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Moderation -- Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Cleanliness -- Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
Tranquility -- Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Chastity -- Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation. (Ed -- he really wasn't good at this one!)
Humility -- Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Posting via Email

2005-10-12T15:03:00.001-07:00

One reason I never seem to manage to post enough to this here blog is simply the issue of time. There's never enough of it. One thing I do have, however, is a phone that can send email. It takes pictures, it has AIM, it has a web browser (but doesn't support cookies or javascript). It even has SSH! I fully expect the next version to bake cookies for me. And I always have this phone with me. Always. That way, if I'm ever bored, I can IM people, check email, surf, and so forth.

I even have my Flylady emails sent right to my phone, so I can easily get fly-washed. (Hey.. I wonder how I put a link in this through email. HTML? Here's trying: <a href="www.flylady.com">Flylady</a> )

So, now, I've configured it to let me post to this blog from my phone. Woohoo! Now I can blog while I'm waiting for my son to be done with daycare and get ready to come home. Sure, he screams in the morning when it's time to go, but you also can't drag him away from it. Toddlers are very complicated creatures.

Update: Whoa... it does not format this especially well.

Progress So Far

2005-10-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't figured out yet how I'm going to share my Flylady progress with you, my loyal readers. Oh, I mean you, the people looking back at my old blog posts once I become rich and famous to see what SilverMine was like before she won the Nobel Prize.

But, until I've come up with a way of informing you (ooh, maybe I can post that bar chart I've been dreaming of every Monday morning!), my beloved readers, I guess I'll have to wing it.

So this week, we're in the kitchen. The big deal this month, for the kitchen, it to get a pantry and fill it with staples (the Perpetual Pantry). I'm doing pretty well so far:

I have a pantry
It is organized into categories, like "tomato sauce", "baking", "soup", and so forth.
I keep a list on the fridge to write down items that we've run out of or are getting low on.

What I need to work on:

I do often buy things that we just might never use. I am getting better about it, though!
My freezer is not in any way organized.
I don't even label and date things in the freezer!
I do not have a list of "staples" to check against, to see if I'm missing any (but I don't know if I need it, since I have the list on the fridge...)

So, my plan to fix this:

Organize the freezer
Start writing dates and labels on freezer items
Find ways to use up weird things in the pantry
Don't buy things at the store unless they are on the list and you know what you're going to do with them

Franklin Meets Flylady

2005-10-12T14:38:00.000-07:00

So, like most working mothers, my house is a mess. A big mess. And I don't have a good system for keeping it clean. Sure, I can go into hyper-cleaning mode for a weekend, if I know visitors are coming. But I'll probably end up neglecting everything else, and the house will just gravitate back to choas pretty quickly.

So, on the advice of some friends, I'm trying out Flylady. Initially, I didn't have a favorable reaction to the site. I feel snobby saying it, but it felt a bit too "midwest stay at home mom" to me. Not that there's really anything wrong with that (in fact my daydreams right now sometimes involve being a midwestern stay at home mom), but I couldn't imagine that the same rules could apply to me.

But hey, it worked for my friends, and they didn't fit my mental mold either. And, after reading a little bit about the actual process, I realized something: Franklin would approve. After all, how different is it from his system of virtues? You decide what you need to improve, and make a way to work towards perfection (realizing, of course, that no human could ever reach perfection, so it's ok if you fail) by improving one thing at a time over days, weeks, and month. It's not a quick fix, it's a lifestyle. So I decided to listen to my inner Benjamin and go for it.

At first I just read. And obsessed. And tried to make a control journal, but of course I had to have a really useful one. A web-based one, so I could check it any time. But there wasn't a pre-made tool out there I could just use. So I was determined to make my own. Well, months passed, I didn't make my tool, and my house was a mess. That didn't work.

So I realized (like she tells everyone else) that I just had to do it an easy way, and not spend all my time trying to make a perfect control journal. I tried a few other things, and they didn't work. Finally I have all my tasks in Outlook's Task pane. I have to use Outlook anyway, may as well use it! This way I could have all my own daily, weekly, and monthly reminders, and track how well I do on them, for metrics. I'm highly motivated by metrics. Flylady encourages putting stickers on a calandar as a metric, but I just can't get away from who I am. I have daydreams of converting my completed task log into bar charts. Yes, I'm sick. I know it. But I'm a very good scientist and a very good programmer, and these insane personality quirks are why.

I debated about whether I wanted to post about this. After all, I think I'm not the only one who reacts to Flylady with instant snobbitude. I wondered if anyone could seriously read a hardhitting political blog interspersed with Flylady posts. Of course, I am not a hardhitting political blog, I have no readers, and Lileks seems to manage to thrive on posting about what his daughter eats for lunch, so maybe this would be something worthwhile to post about.

Finally, my inner Franklin told me I should. After all, he wrote a book about his virtues. He approves.

I hope you look forward to reading about my journey to a cleaner, more streamlined house.

Bloglines

2005-09-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

So, get this: after almost four years of reading blogs, I'm finally getting into an RSS reader. Why didn't I do this years ago? This is way easier than repeatedly going back to sites, hoping there's an update.

Of course, I think it's a bit slow (it can take hours upon hours for updates to reach Bloglines, it seems), and there are still sites that are crazy enough to not have an RSS feed (I think that should be illegal!).

Thinkin gabout it, I think I tried another RSS reader before. Pluck or Plank or something like that, and I totally hated it. I guess I wasn't in the mood to audition a million different applications until I found one I didn't hate.

Now I'm trying ot slowly get all my blogs in there. This might take a while....

Yes, I AM Lonely

2005-08-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

I'm lonely. I love my husband, my son, my parents, and even the few friends I might have scattered around. But I never feel like I really ever connect with anyone but my family. I feel like the rest of the world is like in another dimension slightly offset from mine, and all I can do is look over at them and watch and wonder what it would be like to be part of the party.

I've always felt like that, I think, except for a brief time when I had two really close friends. Then I moved away. In a lot of ways, that move was good for me -- it got me away from a place that I really didn't fit in. It let me re-make myself as a different person. But I did lose my friends and I never really made friends that close again. It's easier to open up about all your deep dark weird secrets with people you've known as you've grown. It's harder to see another grown up and talk about all that crazy weird stuff we all have inside of us.

The internet does help. I've been either on here or on BBSes since I was 12. That's 16 years of talking to people online! You can let out more secrets about yourself, because you can get away from the situation if it blows up on you in ways that you can't get away from a co-worker or your neighbor or someone in town.

You can be anonymous, to an extent. I mean, if anyone who knows me saw this blog, I think jsut the description of me would be enough for them to guess who I am. So this is really scary for me to put it all out there. But I guess I just hope that finally letting everything out will help me either feel better, or maybe even help me find someone who can accept me for who I am and be a friend.

It's easier to let it all hang out and see if anyone likes it, and then tell them who you are. Hell, that's how I met my husband, on a BBS, all those years ago.

I Hate Being a Working Mom

2005-08-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

I do. I hate dropping him off to be with someone else all day long during his "good hours". I hate that I don't get to do the silly art projects with him. I hate that I finally have a job coding, but I don't even want to do it, because I miss the little guy so much.

But I can't bring myself to move away from this communistic state, because I like having mountains and a beach within easy reach. And farmer's markets with incredible food. And restaurants from every country and culture I can think of. And my parents. Probably that last one the most.

I'm not sure I can stomach the idea of ripping up my new roots here (I've only been here 6 years, but that's just about as long as I've ever lived in any particular state) and trying to move to a totally new place, to be a stay at home mom, give up work, give up coding, and now even have the support of my parents to fall back on. It just sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

Plus, well, they're getting older. I want to be here for them like they were always there for me. I want to spend time with them now that I'm an adult. I get along with them so well, and, frankly, they are my best friends (well, them and my husband). No one else in the world understands me, at all, other than my family it seems. So I need them, or I'll be even more lonely.

This Really IS Hard Work

2005-08-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, blogging is really quite a difficult thing, isn't it? I mean, especially starting out, you're basically talking to yourself without knowing if anyone is reading or what they want to hear about, or if you even care if they like it.

I have trouble writing in detail about things that I can just talk out with myself in my head. It seems a bit redundant, you know? Why write down what I'm thinking when I already thought it?

But I have another idea that might help me learn ot write things down -- I can consider this sort of a log of how I feel about things. Politics, parenting, whatever. Then, in the future, I can look back and laugh hysterically about how ignorant I was. Am. Whatever!

So here I go, to try doing this again. Not for you, but for me!

Good Luck to me!

Unequal Pay For Equal Work

2005-01-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

The Price of Liberty has an excellent article up about the wage gap myth. I've told people the same thing for years and years now, but never had the numbers to back it up.

Here's the money quote:

But take a closer look, and it turns out the male directors had an average
of 14.8 years of news work experience, while female directors had only 5.6
years. In other words, the men had almost three times more work experience, but
were paid only about a quarter more.

I've been telling people the same thing for years... decades, even! Men have more experience, and generally are able to work longer hours. My parents both worked, but if I was sick and needed to be picked up from school, it was my mom who got me more often than not. My mom worked regular hours; my dad worked nights and weekends and was on call. It's all about the division of labor. I'm not saying women are required to do this, I'm just saying that in general, that's how couples tend to split the responsibilities, even if the Lileks household doesn't.

It's the same in my house -- I am usually the one who takes our son to daycare, and usually the one who makes dinner, for example. My husband does both, too, but the majority of the time it's me. I never work nights or weekends. He frequently does. It's just how the labor is split.

Science Lab for Homeschoolers

2005-01-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

I have been considering home schooling, and I actually always wondered how people handled some parts of science that it would be really helpful to have a lab for. There are some things you do at home, and some things you can buy, but sometimes I'd bet it'd be really helpful to have a lab.

I know a lot of homeschoolers don't like to partner with schools, but this is a college, which they generally seem to be more open to.

Of course, with lines like:

Becky Watts, spokeswoman for the Illinois State Board of Education, confirmed that the state does not keep track of home-school students, test them or interfere with their curriculum.

Sure makes Chicago seem like a nicer place. Of course, my friends there are already complaining about shoveling snow. ;)

Anyway, it makes me more optimistic about homeschooling. Of course, situations like this are probably illegal in California.... which brings me back to not wanting to move. Ah well. Maybe if I learn to cook indian, chinese, thai, and so forth better, I'll be more willing to move. ;)

What do I want to know?

2005-01-04T14:09:00.000-08:00

Now that I've told you what I do know -- what is it that I want to know? More about:

Economics -- though I do find that what I learned in college is more than what most of my peers know. That thought depresses me, because I feel like I hardly know a thing.
History -- I'm not good at memorizing dates, and I tend to forget names and places, too. Not so good for remembering anything to do with history. I'd like to compare what was going on in different countries and areas at any one time. Since in school, we generally learned the history of one place, instead of by year, I am constantly surprised at who was alive at the same time. Very interesting stuff!
Politics -- Similar to the above. Politics is really current history. ;) And once I know more about history, it should help me understnad current politics.
Education -- Should I homeschool? Should I send him to CA public schools? (*shudder*) I'm learning more about education schools and methods so I can tell if the schools are making it up as they go, or in case I need to use them myself to teach my own son. I still have no idea what to do, so I continue to read homeschooler's blogs, education blogs, and anything else I can find. I'm tempted to homeschool him just so I can spend more time studying history for myself!
Medical reform, social security reform, tax reform -- not general topics, but specific topics I want to know more about so we can fix them.

Skillz

2005-01-04T13:56:00.000-08:00

So, I've been reading Evangelical Outpost's series on starting a blog lately, and right now I'm wondering -- what do I have to offer? It's actually something I think about a lot. Why would someone want to come here and read what I have to say?

One the one hand, I really can't think of anything. I'm not an expert at anything, really. I know a little about this and that, but I'm sure that any subject I know about, there's a dozen people out there who have blogs dedicated to it and do it 100 times better. It's sort of discouraging, but really, it's exciting to know that there are so many people to learn form out there! But it isn't a good reason to come here and read what I have to say.

So let's list off my skills and we'll see if I can bring anything to the party:

Technical writer -- above all, I'm a tech writer right now. I've been one for 5 years, and I'm pretty good at it. I'm definately better at the tech than the writing, but I'm pretty good at writing procedures so that people can read them and follow them easily. The drawback here is that I spend so much time writing all day that it's really making me less likely to want to blog. But hey -- if you have a procedure that needs writing, I can do it! ;)
Online help/HTML expert -- I'm the online help and HTML expert for my group. At least I can design a halfway decent HTML page and miss the big errors a lot of people make. Pick a nice font, for example. And single-cource a doc to print and online help real nice and easy.
XML guru -- Okay, I think it's sort of a joke, but I really am an XML/XSL/etc expert in the doc group of my company. All self-taught, of course.
Learner -- I can learn anything, usually just by teaching myself. The internet is the best thing ever invented for me. So much information, all waiting for me to internalize it.
Lizards -- I've had an iguana for 11 years, and used to help admin a huge mailing list for them. I know a thing or two about lizards. Not an expert, but I certainly know more than Average Joe.
Science -- I have a BS in molecular biology and a year towards a biophysics degree. I worked for a year or two in the Pharma industry, so I know a few things about it. It should make Mr. Moore's new film extra irritating.
Mommy -- I have a wonderful one year old son. I have the knowledge that only mommies have about pregnancy and babies, and how to survive for two years on very little sleep.

Maybe I'll add to this list as I think of more.

What's Good for the Goose

2004-12-21T10:48:00.000-08:00

Orac points out the ridiculousness of telling Big Pharma they shouldn't be able to advertise to the masses, while "alternative medicine" gets to.

Never forget that alternative medicine testimonials exist largely for one purpose: To sell a product. Most of them are advertisements They are no more "unbiased" than pharmaceutical advertisements. In fact, they are worse, because at least the pharmaceutical companies have to be able to back up their claims with science and disclose potential adverse reactions in their ads. No such requirements exist for most alternative medical treatments, mainly because most of them claim to be supplements rather than medicines. The other problem with testimonials is that they don't rise even to the lowest level of medical evidence, the anecdotal report.

Infantilization of the Young

2004-12-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

Something that really makes me nuts is how children and young adults are just being treated like they're incapable of being responsible for anything. They turn into adults with the same problems.

You know what? When I was in school, my grades were my responsibility. When I got all A's, I got no reward, other than the satisfaction of making straight A's. When I got a D in English, my mom told me I should probably do better, but she was concerned I got a B in math, because it was obvious I wasn't applying myself. I didn't get punished though. And because of the D in English, was moved out of the honors class. A month in the "regular" class, and I was working my butt off to get back in honors as soon as I could. And did my parents go to the school and beg them to move me back? Of course not. I had to realize that the consequences of my actions was that I'd be stuck in regular-level english for two years. Oh, the horror!

When I was in college, my second semester I had a low (for me) GPA. It was 2.something. I'd just met the man who became my husband, and he worked strange hours, so I found myself out with him at 3 am on a "school night". On a day I'd have an 8 am class. I didn't spend as much time on my studies, and didn't do as well as I could have. But when I finally realized what I wanted to do next -- go to grad school in biophysics -- I realized I had to buckle down. After that I got mostly A's, some B's and I was accepted at Johns Hopkins.

I realized my life and my schooling was my responsibility -- not my parents. They were there to ensure I got all the oppurtunities they could get me. For example, they fought for better programs at the school, they made sure my siblings were placed in appropriate level classes (i didn't have so much trouble with that, due to my personality). They were there to make sure the oppurtunities existed. But it was up to us kids to take what we were given and use it. No carrots, no sticks.

Here's an article about the effects this infantilization is having on the young.

Temperance, continued

2004-12-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

Ahh, well. I ate far too much on Sunday. I celebrate the third week of advent with family and I cooked up a storm! Everyone ate too much. On the one hand, I feel guilty for stuffing everyone to excess.... but on the other hand, I adore that I made food so good that no one could help themselves.

As I sit here. With my Starbuck's coffee. Sorry Franklin. ;)

Temperance: Day 1

2004-12-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

So far, I've managed to skip breakfast, gorge on sushi (oops), and I haven't given in to my Starbuck's addiction yet. Not too bad.

Week 1: Temperance

2004-12-09T13:42:00.000-08:00

So, I'm going to embark on Franklin's journey to improve myself. I was inspired, watching a two hour documentary on him on Discovery or the History channel or something (they all seem interchangeable to me).

So, I'm starting week one with Temperance:

Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Probably a very useful virtue to work on now, during the holiday season. I'm off to a good start already -- I've lost 12 pounds in the past 3 months, including one pound lost over Thanksgiving. I can't take too much credit for it, however, since I lost that pound thanks to a little stomach illness my sister and her family gave to me. (It was only fair -- I gave them one for Thanksgiving last year!)

Since it's already Thursday, I'll keep this virtue through the end of next week. It will keep me from pigging out at the festivities for the third week of advent.

"Advent?!" you may ask. "I thought you declared yourself agnostic!" Well, yes, I am, however I come from a long line of Catholics, and I still celebrate in my secular little way. It still has meaning to me even if I'm not sure the nice little baby Jesus was really God's son or not. I still think it's a nice story, and that the "meaning of Christmas" as a time of brotherly love and family time is a valuable thing to have in your family traditions. So we put up a tree, sing moving Christmas carols, exchange gifts, and so forth. And I'm full of bubbly happiness for my fellow people, and hope we can all have a lovely time and honor each other. I send gifts to the Muslim members of my family, just as they send me gifts to celebrate the end of Ramadan. And it all goes splendidly.

Decision Making

2004-11-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

Here's a post I found through the Carnival of the Capitalists about decision making.

It's one of my pet peeves that some managers can't seem to manage to make a list of reasons for or against something to make a decision, but instead go by their "gut". We once even had our group get sorted by personality, and it seems ALL the decision-makers were like this, while all the workers were obsessed with making sure they had a reason for their decisions. Well, it certainly helped us figure out where all the stress was coming from, and we worked on fixing that in the future. Of course, HR led us to believe that this was a perfectly acceptable situation... Ahh well..

Anyway, this is an excellent and incredibly logical way of making qualitative decisions more data-based. I intend to use it often! I love lists and numbers, and this is a great tool. It makes me feel foolish for not thinking of it myself!

Outsourcing

2004-11-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

From Econlog, an article about outsourcing.

I, of course, agree with Tyler.

Global Warming Model Flawed

2004-10-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

And while looking at that new blog I linked to below (the Bidinotto blog), I found this great article about how the mathematical model that produced the current "theory" of global warming was inherently flawed.

But after testing Mann's computer program, Canadian scientists Stephen McIntyre and Ross McKitrick proved that the program had a built-in bias. A mathematical flaw in the program tended to exaggerate any data that would produce a hockey-stick-shaped spike in temperatures, but to suppress any data that didn't. Even random test data run through the program arbitrarily generated "hockey stick" shapes!

Oops!

Healthcare

2004-10-25T13:03:00.000-07:00

We don't have heath insurance in the US. What we have is a bunch of people contributing money (sometimes not by choice) and a fund that pays people out based on somewhat arbitrary rules.

Tom Maguire outlines a much more reasonable plan (thanks InstaPundit):

The dirty little secret about healthcare insurance is that you have to maximize participation of young childless males either through coercion (single-payer) or obfuscation (make it free, which means take what would otherwise be salary and put it into the insurance pool). These guys don’t use or need the healthcare system except for accidents, so it’s rational for them not to sign up for insurance until they get married and have kids. Their payments offset the higher healthcare utilization of females, the old, etc.

With HSAs guys can chip in early and build a sizable nest egg tax-free for the day when they have a wife and kids, rational behavior that supports family values too. And if they have good genes and a healthy lifestyle, after a time they can take some of that money and buy a motorcycle! After the accident, the balance of HSA savings goes to their beneficiaries.

But some people think we need the nanny state to tell us what's best for us and do it all for us. I don't agree. I want to manage my own money. I don't want to pay money into a fund that goes to someone's acupunturist. I don't want a middle man.

Defining the Virtues

2004-10-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

Here are Franklin's 13 virtues as he presents them:

Temperance -- Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Silence -- Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Order -- Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Resolution -- Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Frugality -- Make no expense but to do good to other or yourself, i.e., waste nothing.
Industry -- Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
Sincerity -- Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
Justice -- Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Moderation -- Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Cleanliness -- Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
Tanquility -- Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Chastity -- Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation. (Ed -- he really wasn't good at this one!)
Humility -- Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Some of them are about right for me, but others not so much. Being agnostic, I don't think that defining Humility as imitating Jesus is entirely appropriate. Perhaps as I work on this, I'll come up with my own definitions, or even my own virtues. But this is as good a starting place as any.

Getting Started

2004-10-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

Getting a blog started is reminding me of the part I hate about my writing job -- the difficult transition from the introduction, or the preface, to the real meat of the book with all the details you really want to provide. Often, I bridge the gap by providing some sort of overview of what you might find inside the book. Maybe a roadmap to all the knowledge you might find inside.

(Also, since I know no one will be reading this brand new blog, I sort of feel like I'm talking to myself... )

Issues you might see on this blog:

Politics -- I'm voting for Bush, I don't like Kerry. I'm not a Republican, nor am I a Democrat. Rarely has any politician come anywhere near to matching my views.
Economics -- Most people know very little about economics. I don't know much, but I find my two semesters in college put me lightyears ahead of most of my peers. Economics is important now, but it's hard to find a really decent analysis.
Science -- I was going to be my career, and I'm certainly still interested in new developments. Newspapers have very poor science coverage, so the web has stepped in to fill the void.
Education -- Homeschooling, public schools, vouchers, and so forth. I have a son, and he needs an education.
Typos and imperfect grammar -- I have an editor at my real job, and if I spend all my time agonizing over the perfect words to use, I'll never manage to post! I still reserve the right to make fun of others' grammar.
Technology -- I'm also a bit of a programmer, currently immersed in the world of XML, XSL, and HTML, while I help create my company's new documentation system.
Privacy -- I think people deserve privacy. I'm anonymous right now, because my particular views don't tend to be popular in my geographic area or my line of work. Sure, all citizens have freedom of speech, but if I'm afriad my blog will lose me a job or a friend, I'll just never post. So I'd rather be anonymous. It's the way I feel more comfortable online in my 15 years on the 'net and BBSes. If you have a problem with it, well, sorry.

Introduction

2004-10-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

After reading blogs for about three years now, the compulsion to create my own blog has finally overcome my shyness.

I began reading Lileks shortly after 9/11, trying to find hope, information, and comraderie online. Over time, I added more and more blogs to my list, to attempt to quell my passion for knowledge. I realized three years ago, that I didn't know as much about the world as I thought I did, and that knowledge is power. And we needed more power.

So to continue my education, here's my blog: Benjamin's Virtues.

I'm probably the only person who ever enjoyed reading Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography. I find him one of the most remarkable people who ever lived. He was a brilliant scientist and inventor, a statesman, a writer, and a champion for those who needed one. And most of all, he was a patriot in the truest sense of the word.

The name of this blog comes from Franklin's dedication to self improvement. He named 13 virtues that he would strive to master. He admits he never achieved anywhere close to perfection, but that the journey was still immeasurably valuable. The 13 virtues are: Temperance, Silence, Order, Resolution, Frugality, Industry, Sincerity, Justice, Moderation, Cleanliness, Tranquility, Chastity, and Humility.

Thanks for joining me on my journey through Franklin's Virtues.

"Genius without education is like silver in the mine."